


Happy pills, sad boy

by galexyzalex



Category: Malcolm in the Middle
Genre: Anorexia, Blow Jobs in a Car, Brother/Brother Incest, Brotherly Affection, Bulimia, Coming Out, Depression, Drug Abuse, Eating Disorders, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, First Dates, Fucked Up, Gentle Kissing, High School, Holding Hands, Hugs, Inspired by Music, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, M/M, Masturbation in Shower, Medication, Movie Night, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Painkillers, Photography, Self-Harm, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Snacks & Snack Food
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:07:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27144268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galexyzalex/pseuds/galexyzalex
Summary: Reese hates everything about his life; everyone around him, his school, the way everyone glares each time he walks through a door.Prescribed medication and drugs were his only source left.Malcolm hates seeing his brother so helpless, so he does everything to see a smile on Reese's face. Little did Malcolm know, all Reese needed-was him.
Relationships: Malcolm/Reese (Malcolm in the Middle)
Comments: 30
Kudos: 48





	1. can you trust me?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning! warning beforehand.

How do you go on when nothing makes you happy? How do you go on when your lifeline requires prescription medication, marijuana and loathing yourself to the point scars, cuts and bruises are what you deserve?

Walking into school, knowing nothing would get better wrecked Reese. Having the knowledge that nobody cared about him was what made he strive on. Continue going at his rate, despite how many online websites say it's wrong. It's not wrong if you don't die. That's what he learnt. 

Three sticks of gum was enough to cover you for an entire day. Instead of eating, or substituting meals with fatty milkshakes; chew gum. Reese learnt that trick by one of the remaining friends he has. And it was resourceful. Instead of eating healthier and awaiting months for results to show, he stopped eating altogether. And somewhere along the way, Reese even stopped feeling hungry. He felt...numb and empty. Too skinny-but disgustingly fat. Severely underweight, but desperate to lose more. 

Reese knew it was bad; but he also knew, habits aren't easy to break out of. If he could eat again, he would. But the feeling of being full grossed him out. Feeling the oil slush around in his stomach, and the stench of artificial fruits centring around him. 

Plus, eating just meant for and more carbs. Extra unneeded weight you gain-and for what? To get self conscious over?

The only time Reese truely ate, was the few times his family took him out for dinner. A rare occasion, but happened. He would order a small salad and some water, but that would be it. No entree's or deserts; just a baby salad. Even so, quarter of the time he didn't end up finishing. And thankfully his family never really noticed. 

Or at least he thought so. After all, they never bothered questioning him.

So little did Reese know, Malcolm watched from the sidelines. Noticing the way Reese pretended to eat by holding, cutting and poking at his food, somehow getting away with it by making up a conversation to occupy everyone. And Reese did a pretty good job of getting away with it. 

Malcolm had enough, though. He was tired of watching his older brother fill up on liquids and pills rather than proper food. Malcolm knew he needed to talk to Reese-or at least someone about it. Reese starving himself wouldn't get him anywhere except to a hospital. Where, honestly, he should be. But Malcolm knew just as much as Reese that their parents had little to no intention of checking up on their children. It really is a wonder why they bothered having kids. They kicked Francis out, spend half their life arguing with Malcolm and Reese, and pretty much ignore Dewey and Jamie. Shit parents; if Malcolm could say so himself. 

Anyhow, Malcolm made an agreement with himself to have a serious conversation with Reese. A conversation where they could talk truthfully without the paranoia of anyone listening in. Because Malcolm knew he had to be there for Reese rather than telling anyone about his problems. At least at first.

Which is why he decided to lock Reese and himself in their bedroom. Making sure he hid the key somewhere safe. 

And as expected, Reese wasn't happy with the plan. 

"What the hell did you do that for?" Reese ask. Trying the door knob once again, and not being successful.

"Because we need to talk." Malcolm says strictly. "I locked the doors. You can't get out."

Reese rolls his eyes, "I'm busy, Malcolm. I have stuff to do." 

"Like what? Pretend to eat again?" 

Stopping in his tracks, Reese bit his lip anxiously. Not saying anything nor needing to. Malcolm-evidently-already knew. 

Malcolm walked closer to Reese, taking ahold of his wrist and gasping. "Reese...you're so skinny..." 

And he was. Malcolm could barely feel skin on Reese's wrist. Even through his jumper, he was clearly underweight. Almost only bones. And it actually hurt. Feeling how skinny Reese got over the period of a few months. Malcolm couldn't believe it. How hadn't he noticed months earlier?

"I don't want to talk about this." Reese whispers, yanking back his wrist harshly. "Why does it concern you, anyway?"

"Because this isn't normal! Reese, you're my brother. And I care about you. Which means this, your seemingly massive weight loss, hurts me, too. I can't believe you never tried talking to me! I know it's hard, but god...you're a twig!" Malcolm cries. 

"I've lost some weight. I'm not a twig, and I don't know why you're acting like this. Really, it's not a big deal! I'm fine! Just drop it." Reese insists, taking the liberty to lay under his bedsheets in attempt to end the conversation. 

Admittedly, Malcolm probably should have left it there. This was-undoubtedly- a hard thing for them to be talking about. Reese made it clear he was uncomfortable, but Malcolm couldn't just give up. Not when Reese was at risk of needing life support or a feeding tube since he goes to such an extent to avoid eating and gaining weight. If he didn't start getting on a diet soon, Reese could pass out. Even worse, his body could give up on him. _He could die._

What could Malcolm do then? Cry at his funeral? Reese's death wasn't an option. Not when he's so young and has his entire life ahead of him.

"If this isn't a big deal, take your jumper off." Malcolm pleads, "Put me at ease. Just remove it."

Reese scoffs, "No way, you perv."

"How the fuck am I perving?" 

It wasn't like Malcolm to curse. It really wasn't, which was what gave Reese a good idea Malcolm was genuinely concerned. Willing to go to any extent to see what was hiding under Reese's jumper. 

So Reese gave in. "Fine!" He got out of the bedsheets, standing across from Malcolm and removed his shirt. Cringing at the cold air against his stomach, and closing his eyes tight. Already knowing the face Malcolm would be pulling; and not wanting to deal with it. "See? I'm fine." 

"No...fuck, Reese!" Malcolm yelled, "You think this is fine? Normal? You're seventeen! You shouldn't be...starving yourself. And...I can't believe how skinny you've gotten. This is...I can't even look at you...how long?" 

Reese looks down and shrugs, "I don't know...last year?"

"Last year? We're in October! You've staved yourself for a year?"

"Yeah...kind of." 

Malcolm shook his head, lifting one of Reese's arms and taking a closer look. As he expected, cuts were up and down his arm. Scars from every angle plastered and stuck to him. The cuts were, undoubtedly new. Malcolm could sense that from the dried blood and how red the scars looked. It scared Malcolm. In fact, it scared them both. 

"This isn't your business, Malcolm." Reese tries retrieving his arm, but Malcolm's grip is too tight.

Scanning Reese's arms and body, Malcolm could see more than he needed. Reese's ribs practically poking out, how pale he looked. How little muscle he had on his arm. This was much worse than Malcolm could've ever imagined. Apparently what you see in movies turn out worse in real life. Here Malcolm was, staring at his brother whose ribs were thicker than his body. 

"What do you take medication for?" Malcolm asks. Gently dropping Reese's arm and scattering over to their medication cabinet. 

"None of your business!" Reese snapped, throwing his oversized hoodie back over his body. Covering himself once again. 

And it wasn't Malcolm's business, but he was desperate. Needing to know Reese at least had one thing that helped him and wasn't just for the sake of his body. He grabbed each prescribed medication bottle which read 'Reese' and threw them to his bed. Scanning over them all. 

"Why do you have so many painkillers, Reese?"

"Stomach cramps." Reese lies. "I've got nothing bad." 

Painkillers, antidepressants, random pills which had labels that Malcolm needed to research further. For the most part-Reese looked like he hadn't taken anything out of the ordinary. But Malcolm continued looking, and almost fainted when he found razors. They were small, used and covered in dried blood. 

Malcolm swallowed back his tears, "Reese...for god sake, what the fuck are these!" 

"You're such a prick, Malcolm. I can't believe you just looked through my shit!" Reese argued, "This is your fucking fault, I was doing fine before and nothing you say or do will change how am I! Fucking accept it!" 

Instead of arguing in reply, or thinking of some smartass comment, Malcolm took a breath and pulled Reese into his arms. Holding him tight, almost to the point Malcolm thought Reese would pop. But even so, he didn't let go.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry...I'm a horrible brother. I should have noticed. I should have said something and tried to help sooner. But I had no idea! I thought...I don't know, I..." Malcolm had no idea what to say. "I never want you to feel like you can't trust me. I would never call you out. Especially not over this...this is totally between us, but for me to stay silent, I need to know everything. No bullshit. No lies. The truth."

Reese sobbed into Malcolm's neck, still clutching onto him. Though trying to sound okay. Which he obviously wasn't. But Reese felt an odd feeling of comfort being in Malcolm's arms. Like his existence mattered to someone. And the hug...Reese inhaled the scent of Malcolm and it was evolving. Although, he had no idea why he felt so at home being in his brother's arms. Strangely enough, it felt better than having a boy or girlfriend. 

"Can you do that?" Malcolm asks, backing away from Reese, but not ending the hug, "Can you tell me the truth? Do you trust me?" 

Reese hesitated, before, "Yes."

Malcolm nodded. "Good...why don't you and Dewey swap beds tonight? You can sleep beside me?" 

"Sure..." Reese shrugged. Suddenly overwhelmed by the butterflies fluttering inside his stomach. Maybe it was the adrenaline of having someone show their concern. And actually offer to help him get better. "Do you mind?" 

"Why would I ask if I didn't mean it?" 

"You...I...I don't know, if you haven't noticed I'm not exactly the brightest..."

Malcolm shrugs, "So what? That's what makes you, you." 

"I'm pretty sure it just makes me stupid..." Reese mumbles.

"Don't say that. Just be kind to yourself." Malcolm argues, "Now, we'll talk more about this in the morning. For now, I'll unlock the doors and let Dewey in. We won't tell him-but I just want you better. Happy and healthy again." 

Reese nods, smiling. "Thanks." 

"No problem." Malcolm replies, returning the smile.

* * *

"What did you do?" Dewey asks, suspiciously eyeing the spare bed, and both of his brothers. 

"Nothing!" Malcolm defends. For once; he actually didn't do anything. Nothing other than care for his family member. "Just be grateful you get a bed to yourself."

"I am...but this is weird. You and Reese never share a bed. Are you two dating?"

Reese blushed, "No! Don't be gross..." He spat out, disregarding how the comment made him flutter. God, having the slightest bit of attention-even from Malcom-did things to Reese. Weird and explainable things...

"Fine, I'll take the bed!" Dewey says loudly. Taking his pillow and slouching down to the single bed. Making absurd noises to get a reaction from either one of his brothers. Unfortunately for him, he received nothing. Malcolm and Reese were too wrapped in one another to even slightly acknowledge Dewey. "You guys are acting weird."

"How? Malcolm asks. He and Reese weren't acting weird, they were just looking out for each other. What else would you do after finding out about such a crime like thing. Malcolm honestly had no intention of having Reese out of his sight. Anxious of the possibility of Reese to do something he will regret-or potentially not get the chance to regret...nor the chance to feel anything...

Dewey rolls his eyes, "You're sharing a bed; first off. And you've not stopped looking at one another since I got here. If you're banging-i'm fine with it! I don't know about mom or dad, but I'll support you if that's the case."

"Dewey, shut up." Malcolm rolls his eyes, "We're brothers! That's like...the lowest of low! How could anyone get that desperate!" 

Smirking, Dewey looked to Reese. "Your opinions?"

"I think you're a smug little shit." Reese says, dismissing the question and replacing it with something else. Anything to end this conversation. Like before-when touching Malcom, he was all flustered and blush like. And now? Dewey making jokes about them? He felt the same. Embarrassed and visibly less uncomfortable with the idea as Malcolm was. The reasoning behind that, though, were still unknown. 

"Alright. Well, have a good sleep. I love you, my very special brothers."

Dewey crawled under the sheets, resting against the pillow and closing his eyes. Already unquestionably feeling freedom being in a bed by himself. 

Whereas Malcolm and Reese were left cramped up and unnaturally close. On their sides, facing one another with only three or four inches between them. But it was nice. Just being together. Not fighting and having the same 'are you okay' feeling shared between them without actually needing for it to be said aloud. 

They waited about fifteen minuets of staring and silence, before soft snores were to be heard from Dewey and they had a free card to talk.

"How is it possible for a thirteen year old to be such a little shit?" Malcolm jokes. "He's great, though." 

"He is, isn't he? Totally going to grow up better than us." Reese says, "You think?" 

"Yeah...for sure."

Malcolm moves closer, "Can I see your arm again?"

"Uh, well...why?" 

"I want to kiss it better. I know it's cliche, but...please?" 

Reese-biting his lip-slowly moves his hand towards his brother. Clenching himself up as soon as Malcolm touched him. Almost it when he felt the soft kisses place down against his cut skin. Feeling soothing, warm lips pressed to his scars. Oddly romantic; but god. Reese never felt so loved. For a second or two-he even felt like he could overcome his ways. Start eating again and stop hurting himself. 

But just as quick as those thoughts came, they left. 

"Stop." Reese whispers, taking back his arm and putting it by his side. "This isn't going to work, Mal. I've tried everything. I can't eat because it makes me sick. I can't stand the thought of gaining anymore weight...nobody wants me anyway-getting bigger won't even out that. Please, just fucking drop this entire thing. It's my life and I can do whatever the hell I want. I don't need you. You're my brother. I have to love you. That's the rules, not my feelings."

Malcolm-taken aback-just sighs. Cleary upset; and he had every reason to be. All he was doing was trying to help. But how could he went Reese was losing it?

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to push it." Malcolm whispers, not sure where he went too far, but feeling bad, nonetheless. He wanted to help. But some people just don't want help, and he needed to respect that from the start. 

"Whatever." Reese turns around, facing the wall rather than his brother. He felt awful. But he couldn't give in now. The real Reese doesn't just...say sorry. No matter how much he wanted to, he needed to stay in character. Despite how Malcolm frowned, even through the moonlight. Reese could see his face clear as anything.

"Goodnight, Reese." Malcolm whispered. "Sorry."

"Yeah, night..." 

Without it needing to be said, Reese barely slept that night. All he wanted to do was cut. Race to the bathroom and tear open his already damaged skin. To wince out each time the blood shot from his small wounds. Crying in agony at the feeling of cleaning himself off. He just liked feeling pain. Well, he liked hurting himself because he feels like he deserves to be in pain. 

Every time Reese pushes a kid at school, makes fun of a Krelboyne, or screams at his parents. He cuts. That's been his system since he remember. Before he actually considered it as self harm. 

It started with Reese digging his almost non-existent nails into his skin. Until he found his parents razors and stole them. They were easier, hurt more and drew blood. Exactly what he wanted. It made him feel okay. Sore, but as if he got what he deserved. 

Until it came a habit. Each time he cried-which suddenly felt a lot more frequent-he cut himself. Deep cuts which left a cut, but never got life threatening.

But he couldn't cut now. One of the only things he had left, he couldn't do all because Malcolm was a perfect brother and took the razors and hid them. Sure, Reese could try and look-but what if Malcolm woke up? He'd understand instantly what was happening and potentially out Reese to their parents. 

That was a lie. Reese knew Malcolm would never. But he couldn't help over stress and panic. 

Food used to be his comfort. When he was twelve. That's all he did. Eat, eat, eat. Argue over who got the last piece of chicken, who got the last slice of bread. 

Then he gave it up. 

Now, he's screwed. 

* * *

_2:15am_

Reese was still wide awake. Staring up at his roof and counting sheep as if that would actually help him feel sleepy. Which-as expected-didn't. 

"Malcolm?" Reese whispered. Not wanting to rely on his brother- especially not after his obnoxious rant.

"What's wrong?" Malcolm replies quickly. Apparently also already awake. "Why are you still awake?"

"I could ask you the same." 

Malcolm shuffles around, "I felt like you hated me again." 

"I've never hated you." Reese admits, "I was envious of you, sure, but never hated you." 

"Really?" Malcolm asks, hopefully. 

"Yeah...you're my brother." 

"I thought you being my brother meant feelings are default?" 

"Malcolm...I'm sorry, alright? I got really anxious. Nobody has ever cared about me like you did tonight...It freaked me out. Made me think I'll never find love..." 

"Reese, look at me." 

Which Reese did quickly. He rolled back around and once again, landed face-to-face with Malcolm.

"Screw everyone. You've always taught me that. If nobody wants you, they aren't worth it. You know you're better than, like, all of the population, right?" Malcolm admits sheepishly. "You definitely make the cut if I had my own island. In fact, you would be the first one there." 

Reese chuckles, "Really?"

"Of course. Followed by...probably Francis, Dewey and dad. Mom would be below Craig!" 

"That's low." Reese mumbles, "But accurate. I always though I'd be the one making the island with you?" 

"Well...I have a secret." Malcolm leant over and pressed his lips against Reese's. "I would only invite you. Nobody else. Just us and the coconuts." 

Reese smiles, "I mean that much to you?" 

"Reese, you've always been my best friend. Of course I would choose you over everyone. Did you really think I'd ever choose anyone else?" 

"I'm starting to feel like this island isn't entirely fictional. Are we going on an adventure?" Reese jokes. Suddenly remembering how close he and Malcolm were. Their faces were almost touching. And their lips...

Reese could've kissed Malcolm's lips. And admittedly, would've. He wanted to, more so. 

Notably, Malcolm was smiling softly again. "I hate to break it to you-but I don't have an island." 

"What a shame..." Reese's breath was uneven. He was worked up again, dying inside by how close Malcolm was to his face. How they could be kissing if only Reese could man the fuck up-and understand why he wanted them to be kissing in the first time.

Brother's don't do that.

"Do you feel that too?" Malcolm whispers, his breath warm against Reese's face. And he sounded...nervous. 

Reese bit his lip. "Yeah...what is it?" 

Malcolm inched closer to Reese. "I think it's the opened window...god, it's freezing." 

Reese could've slapped himself. Of course Malcolm wasn't feeling the same, love like feelings as himself. It was stupid to think that-even for a second. 

"Yeah...I'll close it." Reese got up, squinted and closed the window. Not having the best sight due to how dark it was, but thankfully he didn't trip up on anything. 

As soon as Reese got back under the bedsheets, Malcolm clutched onto him. Almost spooning him, but less subtle. More friendly rather than romantically. 

"Do you mind? Is this okay?" Malcolm asks, referring to the way he was cuddling up against his brother. 

"Yeah, sure." Reese replied. Trying to sound deadpan, when inside he was practically dead. "Are you comfortable." 

"Hell yeah...man, I should've hugged you years ago."

Reese sighed softly, "Yeah...goodnight. I'm sorry again. I should've held myself back better." 

"Don't worry. It's okay...have a good sleep. I love you." 

"I love you too..."


	2. flush away the bad habits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm and Reese flush away the unnecessary medication and Malcolm starts teaching Reese to eat again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this was so late! I hope you enjoy <3

Reese and Malcolm woke up later than the rest of their family. Making their way out to the kitchen around ten in the morning. The smell of eggs and bacon wafting through the entire house; even though nothing was left. 

"You boys hate quite a sleep, didn't you? I take it you both have enough energy to help clean out the garage?" Lois asks, a smug like smirk plastered across her lips. 

"We haven't ate yet." Malcolm says. Pulling Reese by the hand and walking them to the cabinets. "Cereal?" 

"I'm not hungry." Reese admits. And he wasn't. Not since he had three pills yesterday that filled him up. "Why don't we just go do the garage? Or I'll start and you can-"

"-Reese, you're eating. Just sit down." 

The boys didn't acknowledge the way Lois started at them with such shock. But...almost a hint of satisfaction, too? Also incredibly suspicious. They only ganged up together if they did something bad. All Lois had to do now, was find out what exactly they did. 

"I'm surprised Dewey didn't wake you earlier." Lois challenges. "He's always loud...I guess you boys had a good sleep-would you mind if I searched the room?" 

Malcolm rolls his eyes, "Why do you need to?"

"Because you boys did something. I can smell it." 

For once; they hadn't. But Reese couldn't risk having their mom search the room and find everything he used to ruin himself with. Even though, Lois would have no idea what the objects were, she was the type to research. Thus being the start of numerous lectures for all the wrong reasons.

Instead of telling Reese not to take them, she'll talk to them about how it affects other people if you drug them. Her automatic answer being that Reese is the suspect rather than the victim. An unfair, but sort of reasonable defence she made up after Reese tortured a poor boy at their school. 

"We haven't done anything, mom." Reese says sincerely. Hoping Lois would pick up on his truthful explanation. "I swapped beds with Dewey since Malcolm needed to help me with work, and the bed was comfortable. That's it. We slept in. And I'm sorry. But we didn't do anything."

Lois raises an eyebrow, "You expect me to believe _that_ after you make such a hassle of trying to convince me otherwise? What do you boys have that's so bad I can't see?"

"Nothing! I'm just tired of you checking our every move. We're teenagers. We're supposed to have secrets, but how can we when you're always on our case?" 

Malcolm-listening to Reese defend them-smiled. He was impressed. Reese always lied, and badly. So he obviously had some truth to this, but for the most part sounded convincing enough. And undoubtedly, Malcolm could agree, they needed time and space to grow up. 

"Fine. But if I find out ether of you did something, you'll both have consequences." Lois points between Reese and Malcolm, making sure her point got across. "And don't sleep in the same bed-that's very weird. Even for you two." 

Reese nodded along. Despite how much he was grinning on the inside. "Thanks, mom." 

Lois nodded, "Yeah...have something to eat. I'll finish the garage now. Make sure you finish your homework too." 

"We will." Malcolm nods, watching his mom exit the room and close the door behind her before grinning towards his brother. Almost...proud? "Dude, that was awesome!" 

"Really? I feel like I went too hard..." Reese admits. 

"You didn't. I think she needed to hear something along those lines. Thank you...for bailing us out. I was supposed to see Cynthia today-so I'll still be able to do that." 

He would never admit it; but Reese's heart _dropped._ He thought-only for a second-that today would be Malcolm and his day. Chill out, help one another...just be bothers. But no, Reese had to respect Malcolm and his choices. Especially if his choices are to go see his girlfriend. 

"Cool! That'll be fun for you!" Reese lied, smiling to the point it unquestionably blew away his disguise. 

"Not really. I'm breaking up with her." Malcolm spoke, deadpan. Not sad, nor happy. Just...quiet? "It will only take a few minuets, so I'll be free the rest of the day to help you. Now, can you please eat something?" 

Reese nodded. Grabbing a box of cereal and placing it down on the table. Staring, without doing anything. He had no motivation to eat. He wasn't hungry, and quite frankly-it scared. And he knew Malcolm wouldn't give up unless he at least tried-despite how hard that would be.

"Please?" Malcolm whispered. "For me?" 

"I...do you realize how hard it is?" Reese mumbles.

"Do you?"

Reese shrugs, "What?"

"I see you starve yourself. Just because I'm not in your position, doesn't mean this isn't hard for me, too." Malcolm admits. Sighing quietly. "I'm sorry...I'm just stressed." 

"Me too." Reese smiles sadly. "What are we eating?" 

Malcolm pats Reese on the back, before looking at the cereal box. "We will be eating cheerio's. Sound good? I remember how much you used to love them." 

"When?" Reese ask. Having no recollection back to when he used to eat the cereal treat. "I don't think i've tried them?"

"Oh...I don't know-maybe I'm thinking of Dewey." 

Either way, Malcolm poured Reese and himself the cereal, added milk and served up their bowels. One having much less contentints than the other. 

That was enough to make Reese smile like a mad man. At least Malcolm knew portion sizes would be difficult at first. After all, Reese's last meal would've probably been, a week or so earlier? And it would've been small. 

"Thank you." Reese pulled his bowl closer to him, anxiously nibbling on his lip enough for it to bleed. It hurt, sure, but having to eat would hurt much more. At least emotionally. 

"No problem. You don't have to eat it all...but I think we should have a goal. How about...fifteen cheerio's?" Malcolm suggests. Presumably already putting thought to it, but not bring up the 'challenge' earlier. 

"Okay...my eyes are bigger than my stomach, so I can't really say if that'll work or not...but I hope you know how much I appreciate you doing all of this for me. You're definitely my best friend, Malcolm. Thanks." 

"Of course, Reese. And you're my best friend as well. No matter what I tell Stevie-it's you."

They both chuckle. Before going back to entire seriousness and slowly eating their breakfast. 

By the time Reese ate one cheerio, Malcolm had finished three or four. He did it without a fuss. Making sure not to brag or doing anything of that such, because, who does that anyway? It's food, not a race. 

Minutes later, Dewey made his way to the kitchen and sat directly across from Malcolm and Reese. Staying dead silent, but staring intrusively. 

"What are you doing?" Malcolm asks after a while. Irritated by his younger brother's overly intense eye contact. "Do you want money or something?" 

"No. I'm just confused." Dewey says simply. "I know Reese has a hard time eating-but what's in this for you? And honestly, Malcolm. How do you plan on helping him?" 

Reese looked to Malcolm, shrugging. Apparently he also had the same question, but never dared asking. 

"Because it scares me, Dewey." Malcolm starts, "We're young. Reese is young-he shouldn't be doing this and we shouldn't have to sit by and watch, pretending it's normal."

"Excuse me, am I abnormal?" Reese asks, offended. 

"No! No, of course not, Reese. I just...I meant, I don't want us to sit by watching and think it's okay. Because it's not. No teenager should focus so much on his weight and only because of insecurities. I don't know how to help him, but what I do know, is that if I have a chance to help-i'll take it. We're brothers. We're supposed to do this. _Together._ " 

Dewey smiled. "That was really sweet. I wasn't trying to sound like a smartass or anything, I was confused. But I do think you're a good brother, Malcolm. Better than Francis. Better than me-for that matter." 

Malcolm shook his head, "No way. You and Franics are really good brothers. It's just hard. You're so much younger, and Francis doesn't live here."

Shrugging, Dewey shifted his eyes to Reese. "Can I ask why you don't eat? Is that rude?" 

"I, uh..." Reese coughed. "I don't know, I don't want to gain weight, I guess...eating just...feels gross." 

"But why? Reese, you're really skinny." 

Reese-suddenly getting overwhelmed-just shrugged and awkwardly rubbed his arms. "I know, Dewey...can we please talk about something else?" 

"Yeah...yeah. Sorry. I just want you to be okay." 

Instead of saying anything else, Reese leant across the table and pulled Dewey in for a tight hug. Using all of his emotions into the one sign of affection. 

As stated earlier; Reese doesn't like affection. Hugs, kisses, he hated. But within 24 hours he had already warmed up to Malcolm, and now Dewey. 

* * *

Reese cleaned the dishes for everyone that morning. Which he received some money from his parents, and many thanks. Also some suspicious, but he tried ignoring that part. 

Lois, and even Malcolm were in awe watching. Feeling overwhelming tendencies of proud, happy and any other positive emotion while seeing Reese help out. 

"Malcolm, wanna go see a movie?" Reese asks, walking into the room and catching Malcolm changing. Hesitantly, he closes his eyes but can't help blush. 

"You don't have to cover your eyes, you've seen me naked countless times." Malcolm jokes, "And yeah. Sure, why not? A movie could be fun. I'll stop by Cynthia's house on the way, if you don't mind?" 

"No problem...this will be fun! But what movie?" Reese removes his hands from his eyes. Still blushing furiously. 

Malcolm smirks, "Well...maybe we could sneak into a movie and use the money for lunch? I have money left, so we could get something nice." 

"Yeah... What time shall we leave?" 

"Twenty minuets? I need to think of something to tell mom."

Reese nods, exiting the room and instead, walking into the bathroom. Locking the doors and taking a deep breath. His hands had been shaky for the past hour, and now, his eyes were beginning to water. Which meant he was seconds or minuets away from an anxiety attack. 

Frantically looking through the medication cabinet, Reese found his antidepressants and anxiety medication. He took four tablets, two of each, and three painkillers on the side. It gave him a sense of relief; having pills in his stomach. Despite how empty it was. All he needed now, was some gum which he keeps in his underwear draw. 

Reese walked to the door, unlocking it before stopping. He was going to exit, but something caught his eye along the way out. Something he knew without a second glance. 

A razor. 

And he craved...he needed this. 

"Malcolm, I'm having a quick shower!" Reese called out. Cracking his knuckles nervously as he awaited an answer.

"No problem!" Malcolm called back. "Be quick." 

Reese nodded to nothing in particular, before turning on the shower and waiting the cold water to slowly fall warm. He grabbed the razor from the cabinet and washed it thoroughly. Making sure it had no hairs or any such thing on before he used it. Something he learnt after getting an infection the first time he cut. 

Slowly undressing, Reese found himself heated up. Not only from the steam, but he was hard. Nonetheless, he got in the shower...but looked down about six seconds later. 

Maybe it was the adrenaline of doing something he shouldn't, or the pain, but he needed to do something. Whether that be touch himself or...let nature do it's job. 

Obviously, though-being a teenager-he chose the first option. Putting the razor aside for the second and inching his hand lower and lower. Teasing himself before going straight towards it. Reese knew working up towards it had a better and faster result. 

" _Fuck..._ " Reese moaned, finally wrapping a hand around his lower region. Holding it, before carefully and slowly pumping up and down. Lifting back the foreskin and crying out as the precome dribbled from his tip. 

He felt euphoric. Handled in every way he liked. Having enough force wrapped around his cock, but little pressure at the same time. Reese felt good. Pumping himself faster and faster each time, until he eventually found the same feeling in his stomach pop up. 

"Fuck, Malcolm..." Reese moaned, before stopping his actions entirely. Because, 

What the actual fuck?

Had he actually just moaned his brother's name?

"What's wrong?" Malcolm spoke, pushing the door open before gasping. 

Reese turned red, covering himself up horribly. "Why the fuck did you come in here! I told you I'm showering!" 

"You said my name!"

"No, I didn't! I said Mandy you fucking moron!" Reese lied, his hard on slowly descending back down. "Why are you still here? I've got my dick out!" 

Malcolm took one last glance to Reese before abruptly leaving the room. Both boys separately cringing. By far, that was the most embarrassing thing to happen between them. Especially since Reese _obviously_ said Malcolm.

Reese took three or so minuets before walking out of the bathroom, the towel still wrapped over his lower region, with his chest and stomach on full display. 

Without convincing himself it sounded weird, Malcolm couldn't stop himself from staring. Reese was...oddly attractive. The type of attractive people don't usually appreciate or take notice in-but is very much there. But even so, Malcolm's eyes were plastered on how skinny Reese was. How his ribs were thicker than his actual body and how frightening that looked. Of course, he saw Reese's body the pervious day. But now-with more attention to detail-the scars were pointing out.

"Sorry...about that." Reese mumbled. Rubbing his arm anxiously. Noticing the way Malcolm just _stared_. "Are we still going to the movies? I just got...I don't know-warm water."

"Don't worry about it!" Malcolm says quickly. "I get it...let's just forget that happened...and yeah, we're still seeing a movie. I just...sorry-how often do you hurt yourself? This is, I mean...almost scary...you're too thin to be risking yourself with a blade! Reese, don't you know better?"

Reese-speechless-shrugged. "I'm...I, uh..." 

Before Reese could try and say anything else, Malcolm's hand was gently grazing across his stomach. Most likely over stepping a boundary-but how could he not? Malcolm felt like he was touching a pale, sick, underweight ghost. 

"Can I ask you something?" Malcolm asks. 

"I guess..." Reese mumbles, trying to cover his stomach.

"Do you think this is what people want to see? For someone to have a boyfriend as thin and...sick as you are? And I say that in the nicest way-i'm just so confused...Reese, you're a lot of things. But you're not ugly. This, being so unhealthy makes you ugly." 

And Reese knew that. Everything Malcolm was saying, Reese had already said to himself, or scarred it on his body. 

Scars...Reese never ended up hurting himself...

"I know, Malcolm. But It's...I don't know, it's more of a feeling? I feel disgusting if I'm full. I like not eating and knowing I don't smell of food."

Malcolm nods. Partially understanding. If anything, he felt like a complete and utter jackass for practically having a go at Reese due to his body size. Thinking about it, saying that to someone overweight would be just as horrible.

"I'm sorry." Malcolm says. "I don't want to hurt you. Ever." 

Reese smiles sadly. "I know. Don't worry." 

Grinning, Malcolm pulled Reese down and pecked his cheek. Laughing harshly after, and leaving Reese a complete mess. God, what the fuck were these feelings? And why were they so vivid whenever Malcolm was around?

* * *

_3:37PM_

Malcolm and Reese ended up sitting at the back of the cinema. Laughing and giggling uncontrollably. Surprised they managed to get in without getting caught. 

The movie was fairly shitty. High school musical, Reese was pretty sure. It was way too straight, fictional and generally dumb for it to be anything else. 

"We probably should've looked further into this...I don't know if I'll be able to sit through this entire movie." Reese whispers, yawning loudly-and earning curse words from people around them. 

"I know...I've not even seen half, and I already want to cry in a ball. Why couldn't our high school be like this? Even you would've aced every class." Malcolm jokes, "No offence." 

Reese chuckles. "None taken. I agree...this is so dumb. I've never seen anything more unrealistic." 

"I know, right! God, our minds are so alike." 

Reese nodded, looking to his side and meeting eyes with Malcolm. Not moving away, but blushing uncontrollably. He was so lost in the moment, he began leaning in slowly. 

At least until Malcolm pulled back. "What are you doing?" 

Chuckling anxiously, Reese shrugged. "Copying the movie! I was doing an example...of how anyone kisses!" 

"Oh!" Malcolm laughs. "Good one." 

Suddenly, the backs of their chairs were kicked. Turning around, Malcolm and Reese glared at the person who did it. Offering them a questioning and angry look. 

"My daughter is trying to watch this movie, since she's been waiting for months. Would you two cut whatever sexual tension you have or leave the damn theatre?" The man says, earning agreeable cheers from the rest of the row. Apparently he wasn't the only one annoyed by the teenagers. 

But Malcolm couldn't help snort. "I'm so sorry, sir. My brother and I actually came here but we got this awful message saying our girlfriends ditched us...we just thought this movie would make us feel better. Anyway, if incest is what you want to see-my brother, Reese, and I will tongue one another if you would like?" 

The whole cinema was silent-excluding the movie. A few people turned their heads to listen in, but tuned out eventually. Not wanting their children to hear Malcolm's stupid-but funny-speech. 

"Oh...I'm sorry boys. But please, just have some respect and be quiet? I'm very sorry. I never meant to sexualise you two. I had no idea you were brothers." The man spoke, saying senseless apologises. 

All Malcolm and Reese could do was accept with their best straight face. Using every inch of their body to contain their laughter. At least until the elder man stopped talking and his attention went right back to the big screen. 

"Dude, that was awesome." Reese whispered. His mouth pressed against Malcolm's ear. And fuck, it felt nice. "Why did you do that, though?" 

"I don't know. I got bored." Malcolm replied. His breath warm against Reese's face. "It's really cold in here, don't you think? I should've brought more clothes..." 

Without a second thought, Reese removed his jumper and handed it to Malcolm. Nodding in confirmation, despite how cold he was now. They really overdo the air cons in cinemas. 

"Thank you. But aren't you cold?" Malcolm asks.

"A bit. But...you're helping me. I can help you." 

Malcolm smiled warmly. Slipping the jumper over his head and burying into it. Inhaling the scent and closing his eyes. All he could smell was Reese...and it was nice. 

Like, really fucking nice. 

"Your jumper smells amazing. Is this really what it would be like to date Reese Wilkerson?" Malcolm asks with a chuckle. "I'm living every girl's dream."

Reese took a breath, "What about every boy's dream?" 

Surprisingly, Malcolm didn't do anything. His face didn't scrunch in surprise, he didn't gasp, he didn't do anything other than change his initial sentence. 

"I'm living the dream of anyone you want." Malcolm repeats, grinning before turning back to the screen. "Isn't Zac Efron an absolute babe?" 

Reese chuckles, "Yeah...he's a sex god." 

They watch the movie until the end. But during, Reese couldn't push away the feeling he needed to say something. And so, he gained enough courage to do so once they left the cinema and were walking towards a nearby food shop.

"Malcolm, I took some pills." Reese admits. Stopping in his tracks and sighing sadly. "I took a bigger dosage...and I'm really sorry...I was going to...I was gonna cut myself as well. But then I got hard and you came in so..." 

Malcolm sighs. "Fuck...it's fine. Alright? We're good. You just need to...I want us to flush them. Whatever medication you don't need-we'll flush." 

"That's it? You aren't gonna yell?" 

"Reese, It's not my place to say anything. And I haven't asked to help you that long ago. I understand. Let's get some food, or at least I will, and we can go back home and do what we need to do, aright?" 

Reese nods. Checking around before taking Malcolm's hand into his for a second. "Thank you. I love you." 

Malcolm holds tighter. "I love you."

* * *

"I don't take the painkillers...well, I do. But not all the time. Maybe we should leave them." Reese mumbles, confusing himself. He hadn't noticed how many bottles of pills he actually owned until they were all spread out in front of him.

"I split your prescribed medication in one pile, and the store brought pills in the other. Is that okay?" Malcolm asks.

Reese nods. 

"I'll leave one bottle of painkillers, but Reese, I think we should throw out all the other ones. I know it's a waste, but this is what we need to do." 

Reese nods again. 

They stand up and crowd around the toilet. About six bottles of unnecessary medication bottles in their hands. 

"You want to start?" Malcolm asks. 

"Yeah." Reese says. Removing a cap and pouring the pills in the toilet. Groaning as each one splashed in. This was good. He knew that. But he also lived on those things. 

Next, Malcolm drowned his lot. They both finished around twenty minuets later and flushed. Watching as they sank and got taken away drastically. 

Malcolm took Reese's hand in his own. Smiling as they nodded. This was a step further. A good step.

"Good job." Malcolm whispered. "I'm really proud of you." 

"Me too." Reese confirmed, leaning down and hugging his brother. And it felt safe. Homelike. 

Like this was all he needed. 

Fuck, this feelings might be more reason than Reese had thought...maybe...maybe it was Malcolm after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this wasn't written too rushed :(  
> it's pretty late at night and I have to go back to school tomorrow after being home majority of this year because of lockdown...  
> anyway, I hope you enjoyed! <3


	3. you get me so high

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reese can't stop the way he feels high being with Malcolm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warning; descriptive self harm talk

**twelve days **

twelve days, since Reese had any unnecessary pills. Since he ate his pills rather than real food. In fact, he managed to gained 15 pounds over the course of a week. 

Admittedly; he felt fat. He hadn't remembered the last time his stomach felt this heavy. Even though he hadn't gained too much weight-it was enough for him to notice. 

Though, a positive was how his family picked up on his happy tendencies. Instead of him groaning and sulking around, they could sense his smile and laughter from miles away. Maybe that was his newly formed successful eating habits, or Malcolm-but nobody questioned it. 

Even Stevie-Malcolm's friend-noticed Reese's overly excited attitude. But he hadn't mentioned it either. Evidently not wanting to be involved after the last several times he tried accepting Reese's new attitude, but ended up punching him once he had enough. 

Needless to say; they've all learnt a lot more since then. 

A negative, happened to be Reese's having higher risks of hurting himself. He had a few extra scars lingering on his upper thighs. But he played it off as cuts from the past. 

Although Malcolm knew that was total crap considering the scars were red and visibly itchy-but he didn't question it. After all, Reese had barely any. Maybe one or two cuts at least per every third day or something. 

Of course it still sucked-but he's doing better. Reese used to cut between fifteen and twenty times per day. Or at least that's what Malcolm assumed. 

Fortunately; Malcolm and Reese spent almost every second of every day together. Minus during their school classes, or while they showered-but practically every other minuet. 

Malcolm stopped seeing Stevie as often. Insisting Stevie should stop by his house instead. Lying, and saying Lois was getting stricter by the second. 

But even Reese-an obvlious teenager-noticed. 

"Why do you always call Stevie here?" 

"What?" Malcolm asked. 

Reese turned his body so he was sitting across from his brother. "You used to go to his house. But you haven't for a while...did something happen there?" 

"No. Nothing happened...I just...I prefer him coming over here. I feel more comfortable." 

"You suck at lying." Reese rolled his eyes. "What's the truth?" 

"I don't want to leave you alone." Malcolm admits. "What if something happens? What if _you_ do something?" 

"Like what?" 

He didn't need to speak his concerns outwardly. They both knew well enough why Malcolm was concerned, and why his concerns circuited around Reese. 

Malcolm-suddenly uncomfortable-rubs his arm. "I'm not saying you definitely will. You're just, you know...at risk?" 

"Malcom, do you believe in me?" Reese asks suddenly. Shifting the mood from neutral, to serious. 

"Of course I do, Reese. Why?" 

"You just said you don't trust me without supervision."

"Well..." Malcolm chuckled awkwardly. "I lied, alright? I just don't like spending time away from you...I miss you." 

Almost beaming, Reese smiled. "Really?" His smile was forced down, causing his words to come out shallow and mumbled. 

"Yeah." Malcolm grins in return. "You're my best friend." 

Heartbreak. Once again. The same disgustingly heartbroken feeling Reese felt way too often nowadays came again. 

With that being said, Reese leant forward pulling Malcolm in for a tight cuddle and holds the position for much longer than necessary. It almost got uncomfortable. Only if Malcolm wasn't resting his head in the crease of Reese's neck and seemingly enjoying the feeling. 

"We fit perfectly together." Says Malcolm. "Does that sound completely weird or am I making sense?" 

Reese-still clutching to Malcolm-inhales. Taking in his brother's homely smell. "Yeah, I get it. But that doesn't mean we should do this as much as we do." Here he goes again. Using his defence mechanism to push people away again. 

"I know..." Malcolm pulled away suddenly. "Sorry." 

"It's okay..." 

In fact; it was more than okay. Reese felt safe. Loved. He just hated the feelings that came with it. After all, it should _only_ be a hug between two brothers. Not something that feels like the world is ending once the hug ends. 

"Should I see Stevie now?" Malcolm asks after a few minuets of silence between the two. "Do you mind?" 

"No. Have fun." Reese says. And he meant it. 

Malcolm smiled softy, nodding 'thanks' before grabbing his back pack and leaving the house. Reese watched. Missing his brother already, but finally having time to himself. 

Which either meant binging out and watching countless hours of television, or having a breakdown in the shower. 

Surprisingly, he was in the mood for the positive action this time. A rare-and pleasing-occurrence. As a person, Reese felt happy with himself. He was proud. Overjoyed he finally had the ability to control his self harm tendencies. 

Maybe he could spend some time with his younger brother. They could do something together. Another rare occurrence; but Reese was already on a roll-why stop there?

"Dewey! Come here!" Reese yelled. 

Seconds later, Dewey ran into their shared bedroom. Out of breath and panting. "What?" He choked. 

"Wanna do something?" 

Dewey raised an eyebrow. "Settling on me since Malcolm isn't here?" 

He wasn't wrong. 

"Shut up. You're my brother. We can be friends." Reese mocked. Slightly irritated by Dewey's accusation, but also a sense of feeling attacked. 

"Okay...what are we doing?" Dewey asked. Deciding to ignore his initial insult since it didn't really matter. At least he got to spend time with Reese this way. 

"Watching television? I don't know...you pick." 

Watching Dewey exit the room abruptly, Reese figured they would-in fact-be watching television. Nobody in their house ran that fast without having the television involved.

So Reese followed Dewey. Taking a seat beside him on the couch and grabbing the remote. Choosing what they would be watching because _he_ was the eldest of the two. 

They ended up on some random car chase show. Both cheering on the silver car, up until it got caught and the driver had to get out and hold his arms in the air. 

"This is boring...can we do something else?" Asks Dewey. 

"Like that?" Reese replies. "We haven't got many choices..."

"Why don't we just...talk? About stuff." 

Considering his lack of intelligence; Reese was only just smart enough to know where this conversation was leading. Apparently his brothers were stealthy. 

Reese rolled his eyes. "Dewey, I don't really want to talk about feelings. Especially not with you." 

"So...you trust Malcolm more?" Dewey challenges. "Makes sense, I suppose..." 

"What? Why does that make sense?" 

"Well, because you stare at him too much, overanalyse his every move, blush each time you touch...you love him." 

Reese chuckles nervously. "No I don't! He's my brother!"

"I never said you loved him in a non-brotherly way, Reese. You did that all yourself. Don't lose your cool. But...it's just a bit suspicious, that's all. How _close_ you are." 

Annoyed, Reese scoffed. "Shut up. You don't know anything." 

"I know you hate being touched. Yet, you touch Malcolm without a worry countless times. I don't know why, but I'm going to find out." Dewey smirks. "Look out, Reese." 

That was the end of their conversation. In fact, that was the end of their 'hang out.' Dewey walked back to the bedroom and closed the door behind him, while Reese just sat on the couch-in shock.

Reese-being seventeen, and four years older than Dewey, couldn't believe it. How-and when-did Dewey become so smart? So involved in everyone's feelings that he could actually threaten them with it? 

Sadly, Reese didn't have much time to think it over as his parents walked through the door not too long after. 

"Reese, what are you doing?" Lois asks. "You have school work you need to finish! You can't just sit around doing nothing all day!" 

Considering it was a Saturday-he could.

"You're right...I'm sorry mom." Reese mumbled. Knowing it was best not to argue. He stood up with his head hung low, and made his way to the bedroom. 

The bathroom door was locked and the water ran, proving Dewey was in fact in the shower. 

Which meant Reese had ten to fifteen minuets alone. Enough time to do literally anything. 

Unfortunately, all he ended up doing was sitting at Malcolm's desk and looking through his things. Desperate to find anything that would amuse him. Which-needless to say-he didn't find anything. 

Or at least he didn't find anything at first. 

His possessions-razors-were visibly seen to anyone. Well, if you looked at least. Which he did. And he found exactly what he didn't need, but _god_. He craved.

Reese would be lying to himself if he said he hadn't thought about cutting. Just to feel his skin tear as soon as the blade drew by his skin. Or how he would wash his cuts with a washcloth and just stare as the bloody red colour mixed with the water. How he ached each night he found himself leaning on his thighs, right where his cuts formed dark red and angry scars which would mark him for life. 

And maybe-just maybe-his brother pulled him out of the habit. Maybe Malcolm made Reese believe that he was even the slightest bit capable of deserving a happy life. Deserving of being happy generally. Which meant, 

Reese, now ** _undoubtably_** , liked Malcolm. 

And Malcolm- ** _hopefully_** -liked Reese in return.

Needless to say; they were scary feelings. Even more so when they're unavailable. Unavailable...and your sibling...

Goddamn Dewey...he was somehow smart enough to know what was happening before anything even happened! Apparently he isn't that dense and does-in fact-observe the outside world. He just doesn't involve himself. 

"Dewey! Get your ass in here!" Reese yells, straight after he hears the water stop running in the bathroom. 

And without questioning, Dewey does as asked. With a towel wrapped around his waist, he sat on his bed and looked up to Reese. Unsurprisingly unimpressed. 

"What is it, Reese? I thought we were done talking." Dewey groaned. 

"How did you know?" Reese asked, deflecting the groans coming from Dewey. "When did you...see through me." 

"What are you talking about?" 

"You tried to tell me! About...you know...about Malcolm...but _I_ couldn't see it! How did you?"

"Reese-all you ever do is stare, mope around and get all sensitive around Malcolm. What else did you think that was? Just being a good brother?" Dewey sighs. "I'd be lying if I said this wasn't weird, ok? You're my brother. You're both my brothers, but if it makes you happy, you know? Then I can't pretend it's my business." 

Reese smiles shyly. "Really? You would support it?" 

"I...I guess it depends on what I'm supporting." 

Which was another way of Dewey questioning Reese on what he was going to do. Act on his emotions, be subtle and see where it goes or do absolutely nothing. 

But either way; Reese had to make his mind up sooner rather than later. This was something he couldn't hold back. 

Sure, he only just acknowledged his feelings and accepted it, but why wait? That could lead to more torture. All he has to do is spend the next few hours thinking. 

* * *

"How was Stevie?" Lois asks. Scooping some potatoes and placing them on Malcolm's plate. "It's been a while since you visited him. I'm very happy you did that." 

Malcolm shrugs. "He's fine. And thanks...he just felt more comfortable being there. This divorce really screwed him up. His mom is always crying so he wanted to be there for her." 

Nodding, Lois turned her attention away from Malcolm, to her other two sons. Not smiling, and seemingly upset with them. Despite their lack of bad behaviour. In face, they had been pretty good the entire day. 

"What?" Reese asks. Insure over the accusing look he was receiving. "Why are you looking at me like that?" 

"Like what?" Lois replies; acting innocent. 

"As if I did something! I didn't!"

Hal-joining the conversation-sighs. "Calm down, Reese. Your mother isn't accusing you of anything. Just eat your spaghetti." 

"Fine, dad." Reese looked up, meeting eyes with Malcolm and nervously played with his food. 

Malcolm didn't break the eye contact. In fact, he barely blinked so he could stare at Reese. The reasoning behind it was unknown; but strangely enough, it felt normal. 

Not like something they would do which resulted in arguing or fighting-but like they were trying to understand each other. Read one another's minds almost. Which-needless to say-staring doesn't make telepathy a thing. 

Dinner lingered on for longer than it needed to. With Lois and Hal talking nonsense about their day, Dewey eating too much to the point he threw up, and Malcolm and Reese staring senselessly at each other. It started around 7:20, and strangely ended around 8:50. 

Fortunately, the boys got an excuse to go to bed early. Which meant they had longer to talk or make as much loud as they could compared to any other. Which is exactly what they did. Talk nonsense and make noise. 

"What would the world be like if we didn't have pets?" Reese asked. Sparking up an, admittedly, pointless discussion. 

"Probably extremely boring." Malcolm answered, deadpan. 

"Well, yeah. But what about with crimes? Dogs search and can bark-they save lives." 

"But, Reese. They also end lives." 

Reese stood from his bed, and instead, moved to lay beside Malcolm. Not saying a word-but doing it. 

"Hi." Malcolm whispers. Evidently nervous due to his quiet voice and shaken up body. 

Reese smiles. "Hey." 

They were both looking at the roof. Taking in every feature. The holes, the cracks-everything which was ruined pretty much. 

"You guys suck. Are we seriously just sitting around? Not doing anything?" Dewey asks. Smirking slyly at Reese. 

"We're talking. Isn't that enough?" Reese replies, moving his hand and turning stiff once he felt Malcolm's hand incredibly close to his own. So close, they could almost be intertwined.

"But talking is _so_ boring!" Dewey complains. Emphasising the 'so.' "I can't believe you two aren't trying to sneak out and blackmailing me. Since when did you two get so lame?" 

"Since life became unbearable." Reese admitted. His voice low and barely loud enough for his brothers to hear. Truth be told; he hadn't meant to bore or upset them. He just spoke his feelings and hoped they would understand. 

"I couldn't agree more. Dewey, you'll understand when you're older." Malcolm agreed. "But seriously; you okay?" 

Reese could feel Malcolm's hand inching closer. Though they weren't touching, the body heat they shared was clear.

"Yeah." Reese smiled. "I think I am." Following along; Reese moved his hand as well. Ending up having his pinky finger to rest on Malcolm's hand. 

"I'm happy for you, Reese." That was it. The last straw. Malcolm _finally_ intertwined their hands together. At first, their fingers brushed. Eventually, though, Malcolm and Reese were securely holding onto one another. Both grinning inwardly; and not wanting-nor needing-to speak. 

It felt comfortable. Perfect. And Reese's stomach dropped. The same, butterfly like feeling in his lower abdomen as he used to feel whenever a girl would kiss his cheek in elementary school. Whereas Malcolm felt more controlled. Having held hands with countless girls; and plus, this wasn't weird for him. After all, all he was doing is comforting his brother and physically expressing his excitement. 

"Why are you nervous?" Malcolm asked after a few minuets. 

"Aren't you?" Reese cautiously replied. 

"No. You're my brother. Why would I be anxious? I thought we were just having a friendship moment." 

That was all Malcolm felt. **_Friendship._**

"Oh! Oh...yeah..." Reese internally slapped himself. Once again, he overthought and ended up unintentionally hurt. "We are. Sorry...I need to use the bathroom." Reese disconnected their hands. Rushing off to the bathroom, locking the doors and sighing on the closed toilet seat.

Could he be anymore pathetic? Pinning after his own brother? 

This really was a shitty situation...Reese was now, truely and utterly fucked. 

Or at least-he wished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! apologies for such inconsistent updates!


	4. sunday kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reese finally makes a move, Malcolm discovers himself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mild sexual content warning

"Morning, Reese." 

No reply. 

"Reese? Can you get up please?" 

Again; no response. 

"Get out of bed!" Realistically, Malcolm should've known. By the way Reese's body looked limp and hadn't moved for longer than he should have-Malcolm, an apparent genius, had no recollection of depression episodes. Especially since his brother made it more than evident that he struggled with depression. 

Just because it wasn't Malcolm's problem-doesn't mean he shouldn't help. Nobody else was, apparently.

Sighing, Malcolm gently spread the blanket across Reese's body. Deciding to leave his brother by himself to relax for a bit. That's what he needed-space. Though, not too much space. Malcolm still had to stick around in case Reese tried harming himself in any way. That much he knew. 

Malcolm left the room, quietly closing the door behind and plunging down on the couch beside his dad. Awaiting the boring conversation he had coming. 

"Hello, son." Hal says. "Where's your brothers?" 

"I don't know." Malcolm shrugs. "Why, do you need them for something?"

"Well, kind of. I was thinking about painting the garage door! We could all interpret our own colours and styles!"

They both knew this was theoretical. Especially since Lois would-in no way-be fine with that. After all, when Malcolm was six and accidentally drew on the table with washable markers, she almost disowned him right then and there. 

"Have you met mom?" Malcolm jokes. "Are you crazy?"

"Malcolm, I own this house as well. I get a say in what goes and what doesn't just as much as Lois." Hal defends. 

"Alright, dad. But if you die-don't expect me to speak at your funeral. Not after you dragged me into this."

Hal laughed. One of the few things the entire family could appreciate. While Lois was-admittedly-more uptight and petty; Hal was careless and more of a fun parent. Of course he put his foot down when necessary, but for the most part he was fairly chilled out. 

Inside, Malcolm was stressing out. He promised not to tell a soul about Reese and his struggles. Especially not their parents. But what could he do? Reese was so depressed he couldn't get out of bed. How could Malcolm logically explain that? Hal was gullible-but to a reasonable extent. 

"Why don't we do this?" Malcolm suggests. Saying the first, and only, thing to come up in his head. "We barely hang out anymore. Since I turned sixteen and I'm always so busy with school...why can't this be our project?"

Thankfully, Hal was overjoyed by the offer. Instantly lighting up and grinning. "Really?"

"Yeah! It could be fun."

"Well...why not! I need to pick up some paint in the afternoon, so for now you can think about your design! Make sure to hide it from Reese and Dewey, though. They might get a bit jealous if you know what I mean." Hal winked. Picking himself up from the couch and happily striding outside, right in the backyard. Doing god knows what, but something that nobody ever bothered questioning anymore. 

Lois was at work, and Dewey at a friend's house. Which left Malcolm to do anything. Usually he would use Reese to cure himself from being bored. But Reese having a depressive episode made that slightly difficult. 

Instead, Malcolm sneaked back into the bedroom and just watched Reese. Not to the point it would be considered weird or creepy; but just to protect him. To watch over his every move. 

And to take in every single perfection. But Malcolm tried telling himself otherwise. He tried lying and covering his own ass with the whole 'I'm scared of him being alone' crap. Of course he was-but that wasn't the true reason. 

Malcolm had been noticing Reese a lot more recently. That was the problem. It was incredibly weird. 

But Reese is too pretty to stop admiring. 

"Stop watching me." Reese mumbled. Apparently awake and very aware of his brother's intrusive staring. 

It made Malcolm jump slightly. "Fuck! Sorry..."

"It's okay...why were you yelling earlier?" 

"What?" 

"You told me to get out of bed...it's a Sunday. Why did I need to be up so early?" 

Honestly, Malcolm didn't know. "Uh...m-mom wanted you." 

"Mom's at work." Reese remarked quickly. "Did you need me for something?" 

"No, I didn't but...I thought you were having a depressive episode." Malcolm asked, confused. Reese seemed fine. More than fine, even. Completely okay. 

Reese rubbed his eye, "Sorry...I accidentally-and I mean that, took too many of my sleep medication...it was really dark last night and I thought it said five, but it was two."

"Oh...oh!" Malcolm laughed nervously. "Shit, sorry. I didn't even think about that. I'm sorry...but you seriously need to be more cautious with medication. I thought I put out your dosage last night? Did I forget?" 

"No. I couldn't sleep properly. I took a few more." 

Quickly calculating, Malcolm gasped. "You took seven sleeping pills? Reese! You could have fucking died!" 

"What?" Reese-suddenly very awake-shot up. "No! No, I couldn't have! Are you joking?"

"No, I'm not joking! Look...it's fine. You're fine. But please be more aware next time? Or turn on a light. I would much rather you wake me up, over me not being able to wake you at all." 

Reese nodded, and smiled small. Weakly extending his arms out and staring at Malcolm. Waiting, one, two, three seconds before Malcolm understood and lunged forward. 

Malcolm closed his eyes. Comprehending this action, and subtly taking in every inch of Reese's scent. After everything they had been through together-some times being more hardcore than others-this felt right. So fucking right. 

Right; and slightly overly sexual.

Or at least on Reese's behalf. His eyes wouldn't stop pretty much eye fucking Malcolm's hands. 

They were frailty, and veiny. His nails were cut neat, and not awfully short. Clean. And just looking at them, made Reese realize two things. 

One, Malcolm is more vulnerable than he originally thought.

And two, Reese wanted nothing more, than Malcolm's hands wrapped around his cock. 

Having those fucking hands drenched in Reese's semen and licking them up, one finger at a time. 

Consequently, those thoughts lead to Reese's pants tightening, and him backing away quickly. Disgusted, scared and slightly anxious. What if Malcolm saw? What if he _felt_ it?

"What? What's wrong?" Malcolm asks. Thankfully completely unaware and oblivious to his brother's inappropriate problem. Which-without blaming-was Malcolm's fault. 

"Nothing! Nothing's wrong. Why, what makes you think anything is wrong?" Reese says quickly. Almost choking up at how many words he spoke aloud in such little time. 

"Well, you pulled away abruptly..."

"I don't know what that word means." Reese lied. Recently, he had been reading a lot more. Only for Malcolm. Which was ironic since he was hiding that small fact. 

Malcolm caught along, though. "You do know what that means. Don't lie-just tell me."

"It's not a big deal, Malcolm." 

"Okay, if it's not a big deal-tell me. I won't care." 

Reese huffed dramatically. "Fine, you ass! I'm hard because I looked at your hands. Is that want you wanted to hear?" 

A few seconds-maybe fifteen-passed, before Malcolm started laughing. Not directly insulting Reese's confession, but laughing at the situation. How Reese admitted to it with such fear and lack of resistance. It was...sweet. Cute...

"Fuck you!" Reese hissed. "This isn't funny, dip ward!" 

"No, it's not." Malcolm coughed. Getting himself back together and biting back his amusement. "I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing with you. As I said; this isn't a big deal. It's just how you said it. And...my hands?" 

"I...I don't know-i'm a teenager. Hormones?" 

As if that would work after the hundredth time. 

Malcolm shook his head. "It's fine, Reese. I mean, a bit confusing...but...almost flattering." 

Reese blushed. "Yeah, whatever..." 

They both had to ignore the butterflies in the stomach. This was so typical. Teenagers getting nervous and embarrassed around one another in such a crush way. 

But-needless to say-this was different. This was friendship. Completely platonic since-realistically-they're brothers. 

God, Malcolm really sucks at coming up with anything to hide his true feelings-doesn't he? It's almost applaudable at this point. 

"I'm helping dad with something. You can come along after, you know...that, if you want. We'll be in the garage." Malcolm says. Forgetting this was supposed to be he and Hal's thing, but remembering Hal wouldn't really care. After all; he's getting both of his sons rather than one. 

"Okay...bye..." Reese says nervously. Waving off Malcolm and breathing out harshly as soon as he was alone again. That was a train wreck...thankfully it didn't go any worse. 

* * *

Reese, Malcolm and Hal started painting around half past three in the afternoon. All choosing colours that were sure to clash; but they didn't know any better. 

Sometime through their bonding, Hal asked Malcolm to grab some washcloths from inside. Which left Reese and Hal to take among themselves. Which they didn't do, until Reese sighed dramatically and spoke up. 

"Dad...can I ask you something?" Reese asks. Wanting to die in a whole for being the kid to ask his own parent for advice, but hey, who fucking cares.

"Of course you can, son." Hal replied. Evidently preoccupied with the paints, but gracefully turning around to nod at Reese for him to continue. 

"Alright, well...you can't tell anyone." 

"I'm not thirteen, Reese. I'm your dad. You can tell me."

He couldn't. Well, not the exact details at least. 

"I like someone." Reese says quietly. "And they don't like me back...but I can't seem to get over them."

Hal stops painting for a second, focusing his whole attention to his son. "Does this girl know you like her? Has she told you the feelings aren't mutual?" 

Now that he thought about it; Reese hadn't really taken much noticed into Malcolm being a boy. He just kind of relied on his crush and that was it. Whether it be a female, male or anything in between; he just liked the person. 

"It's...well...they're not necessarily a female." Reese mumbled. Feeling ill that he had to say that aloud. 

Although he paused for a second, deep down, Hal always knew. By the way Reese obsessed over his looks, owned countless mens magazines, fantasised over wrestlers rather than bikini models. And he felt overwhelmed by Reese actually confirming that. 

"Reese...I'm very proud of you." Hal says. Evidently trying to push back tears. "Am I the first one you've told?"

"Yeah. I didn't really know myself. But, you know, I started liking this boy and only now I realized it's a male. But yeah, you're the first person I've told so if you don't mind maybe not repeating it..."

"Of course, Reese. I'm just so happy you told me. And I actually wanted to ask you earlier, you've seemed a lot different lately. This...crush of yours-are they connected?" 

Before Reese could answer, Malcolm entered the room once again, this time, with three washcloths. 

"I couldn't find them at first and I though mom took them to work with her, but I got them eventually." Malcolm spoke, chuckling softly at his own shitty joke. 

"Thank you, Malcolm." Hal smiled, before looking at Reese with a questioning look in his eyes. Almost asking without words if Malcolm knew. Which Reese replied with a subtle shake of his head. 

The three of them started drawing their outlines of designs on the door. Surprised the grey led pencil actually held against the metal door. 

Malcolm drew a tree with six branches sticking out, visibly representing their family, although he never said it aloud. 

Reese made a fairly uneven drawing of a baseball bat and a bowl of what seemed to be spaghetti. Showing his two favourite things. Violence, and cooking. 

Lastly, Hal made an oversized sketch of his wife-Lois. Making sure to get everything perfect, and to show how much she means to him. And-he wouldn't admit it-Hal figured that would be the best chance of being allowed to keep the painting up; by making it sentimental and sweet. 

"That looks great, dad." Malcolm says. And he was being honest. Their family apparently did have some talents nobody knew about. One of them, being their drawing skills. 

"Thank you son. I really like both of yours. Very unique and personal." Hal says, overly passionate over something both Reese and Malcolm had no intention of enjoying; but ended up anyway. 

"Thanks dad." Malcolm and Reese smiled in sync. 

Somewhere along the waters, when Hal was too preoccupied fixing up and flaws from his sketch, Malcolm and Reese's bodies and hands were pressed against each other. Itching to be brought together and for that gut feeling to come back.

But they knew it was wrong. Something they shouldn't do because they're brothers and brothers shouldn't, under any circumstance enjoy this much company with one another. They should be disgusted and forced to touch. 

"Hey." Malcolm whispered. Deciding to turn his brain off for a few minuets. 

"Hi." Reese replied. Evidently nervous. 

"Yours looks really good." 

"So does yours..." 

"I thought you would have drawn me, Reese."

Reese turned his head. "Uh, w-why?" He mentally questioned himself how and when he turned into such a pussy. 

"Because you love me?" Malcolm was strictly joking. But, by the way Reese was reacting...he wondered if it was, after all, just a silly little joke. Or he somehow became a clingy and overly annoying...well, he actually wasn't sure how to finish that thought. 

They aren't dating-nor would they ever because they can't. 

But Malcolm couldn't help thinking...

And deep down, neither could Reese.

"Boys, are you ready to paint?" Hal asked, regaining the attention from both of his-now startled-sons. 

"Yeah!" Malcolm spoke quickly. Moving away from Reese so fast anyone in the room could sense the tension from miles away. Lois could probably feel it from her work. 

Reese fell confused. Had he upset Malcolm somehow? What did he do that was so wrong? Either way, he sucked it up and began painting with his family. Enjoying the silence, despite how insecure he felt suddenly. 

They finished painting around an hour or two later. Right when Lois and Dewey arrived home. Looking more than unimpressed by Hal's overly excited attitude. 

"How was work?" Hal asked. Grinning so far he could almost split his face open. "And Dewey, how was your friend?" 

In sync, Lois and Dewey replied, "Fine." 

While those three were stuck in a boring and unenthused conversation, Malcolm and Reese were back to eye fucking. Both opening their mouths to speak, but shutting them once nothing came out. They felt like an argument had occurred. Which-for once-it hadn't. 

"I suppose you were in on this painting plan, as well?" Lois asked pointedly towards Malcolm and Reese. "I thought you boys would have the brain to say it's not a good idea."

"Mom, it's just a garage door." Reese defends, "Why is it such a big deal? We did it for you!"

Lois rolls her eyes, "Do you think I'm stupid?" 

"No, I think you're stubborn."

Huge mistake. Reese was sure to get it now. 

"Get to your room, now! All of you boys! I don't want to hear about anything else. Your father and I need to talk." Lois screamed, so loud the neighbours most likely heard. She was angry; and for once-she had no reason to be. All Reese did was tell the truth. 

So, without arguing, Reese stomped off to his room beside his two brothers. Making sure to slam the door behind them and make it more dramatic than necessary. 

"This is bullshit!" Reese protested. 

"I know, but it's mom." Malcolm says.

"Exactly! She's our mom and I'm scared of her!" 

"Reese, it'll be fine. She probably just had a bad day at work and is using anything to blame. Just...I don't know, come with me."

Malcolm put his hand on Reese's wrist, gently pulling him into the bathroom and shut the door behind them. 

"Why are we in the bathroom?" Reese asks after a minuet. 

Smirking, Malcolm opens a hidden draw and pulls out a small box. This wouldn't end well. 

"I want to pierce your nose." Malcolm says excitedly. "You always tell me you want this, so let's do it! I know how to, and where to go. I've sterilised everything already, too. And brought some studs and rings!" 

Reese pauses for a second. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah! Unless you aren't." 

"No, I totally want to do this." 

Within minuets, Reese was sitting on the closed toilet seat, with tissues shoved up his nose and his hand clutched to Malcolm. He knew it would hurt, that was obvious. But Reese was still nervous. 

"Fuck; I'm scared." Reese mumbled. 

"We can stop." Malcolm says, stepping back. 

"No, Malcolm I want this." 

And fuck, did Reese wish he was saying that same sentence in a totally different context.

"Should I do it on three?" Malcolm asks. 

Reese nods. "You owe me...something."

Malcolm chuckled. "Sure. Anything." 

"Really, anything?" 

"Yeah. It's really cool you've got balls to do this."

Ignoring his flustered cheeks, Reese nodded towards Malcolm. Giving him approval to pierce his nose at that time. Which Malcolm did. 

Reese hissed out, cursing quietly but overall feeling more excitement than anything else. Throughout the process, which lasted seconds-maybe minuets-Reese's hand completely wrapped around Malcolm's. Almost like they were glued together. 

Malcolm's hands were on both side of Reese's face. One holding the safety pin and pressing into the right side of his nose, and the other hand holding his head in place. 

It made Reese's stomach dropped. They were close. Only a few inches apart. Their faces were almost brushed together. 

And somewhere along the line, Reese gained enough courage to lean forward and press his lips against Malcolm's. Lasting a short period of time, but enough for them both to sink it. 

Malcolm's lips were soft, sweet. 

Whereas Reese's lips were cut, cracked and scabby. 

Fortunately, they fit. Starting off as a soft and short graze, and ending up completely intertwined. 

Remembering the needle about to poke his eye out, Malcolm pulled away and coughed anxiously. Rubbing his arm, and going to any extent to avoid eye contact with Reese. 

Reese; his brother whom he just made out with.

"So, anyway...uh, do you want a...uh, a stud or a ring?" 

"A ring..." Reese mumbled. "Thank you, Malcolm." 

Malcolm smiled to nobody in particular, he swiftly changed the pin to the nose ring. Cleaning the excess blood with one of the tissues and completely backed away. 

"I'm gonna go to sleep." Malcolm announced. "So...night." 

"Wait, please stay." Reese pulled Malcolm's back by his wrist. "I didn't mean to upset you...I'm so sorry. It was just a momentary thing...I-"

"-It's fine!" Malcolm interrupted. "Let's just go to bed. We can brush it off. Who cares? It's a simple mistake." 

That was probably the hardest night Reese ever had to deal with. Sleeping on his bed, alone, knowing Malcolm was equally just as awake as him. 

But...he couldn't stop licking his lips. Feeling Malcolm if he tried hard enough. And it felt really, fucking amazing. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter sucks...I was originally going to waiting for them to kiss chapter 6-7, but I couldn't wait! Thank you for reading <3


	5. holy fuck~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm and Reese get along more than they ever imagined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sexual content warning for the horny people reading this :)

"Why are you acting so weird?" Francis asks, eyeing his two brothers suspiciously. Knowing something was different without having to be told. 

But Reese and Malcolm didn't say a word. Not to one another, and not to Francis. 

That's how their days had been going. Completely ignoring the other's existence unless completely vital. All because Reese was idiotic enough to make a move. Could he be any more pathetic? 

"What happened?" Francis repeated, this time, his question was directed to Dewey as if he knew. 

"I don't know, they won't tell me!" Dewey mumbled. Apparently getting nowhere with his non-stop nagging.

"Reese? Malcolm? Are you giving each other the silent treatment? Because if so, stop! I'm home for a week, and my two brothers are ignoring one another." 

Dewey decided it would be easier to let the 'two brother' thing slip. After all; Francis wasn't saying it to be mean. He's just upset.

"No, we're fine." Reese lied. He wasn't sure if it was to save his, or Malcolm's ass. But either way; they were rescued.

"I don't believe you." Francis challenged, "Hug." 

"What? Why? That's dramatic." Malcolm argued. And it was. Despite what happened, Malcolm and Reese were rarely the touchy type. At least up until a month or two ago.

"It's not dramatic, you've got the same blood! Why is a hug so hard? Actually...don't hug. I want to see you kiss." 

Malcolm winced. They already kissed, hence their now strange behaviour against one another. 

"That's really weird." Reese pointed out. "Why would we kiss? And especially in front of you! God, you make it sound sexual." 

Francis cringed. "Shut up. You know what I mean, on the cheek or something. If you want my trust, you need to earn it. Otherwise I'll continue asking what happened and leave it up to my wild imagination." 

"Why is it such a big deal, Francis? Brothers argue. Nothing you-or anyone else-will stop that from happening. This is between Reese and I _only_. Butt out!" Malcolm complained. 

Before anything else could be said, Dewey and Francis were booted out of the room, leaving Malcolm and Reese to deal with the horrifically awkward incident which occurred the entire week. 

"What?" Reese asked, once he noticed Malcolm staring at him. "Stop looking at me like that." 

"Like what?" Malcolm challenged. 

"Like I completely fucked everything because I like you!" 

Silence. Complete, and utter silence was ringing through both boy's ears. Desperate to spit something, _anything_ out, but not knowing what. 

"You...what?" Malcolm asked seconds later, furrowing his brows together; but he didn't look sad. He didn't really look...anything. Mainly confused. 

But Reese wouldn't give in. He couldn't. "Nothing, you asshole! Now get out of here before I rip your throat out." 

Malcolm-stubborn and self aware Malcolm-didn't leave. How could he now? Reese needed help. And quite frankly, Malcolm had no intention of concluding the conversation there. This was probably the most important moment of his life. And he had to make the hardest choice. 

"Then do it. Rip my throat out, I don't care. But I need to know why you said what you did, and if you mean it." Malcolm thought about the kiss. The amazing, soft and sweet kiss they shared-he defienetly returned it, and he definitely enjoyed it. 

That should have been the answer. 

But, god, this entire situation had to be so complicated. 

"I said shut up!" Pulling Malcolm out of thought, Reese lunged forward and attacked. Wrapping his arms around his brother's neck, and practically straddling his lap. 

Reese threw punch after punch, successfully keeping his grip on Malcolm, and bruising him to the point Lois was certainly going to scream at him. But he didn't stop. Not when Malcolm was receiving such extreme punches, but still giving Reese the eye.

The same eye Malcolm always gave Reese. One that says without speaking, 'it's going to be okay.'

And hey, maybe it was. But Reese couldn't take that risk. Not after he potentially ruined their relationship over a momentary kiss. A confession would completely ruin their whole dynamic. The remaining dynamic, at least. What they had left. 

Which was both _nothing_ , and _everything._

"Why are you such an asshole?" Malcolm screamed. "I helped you! I got you clean, and eating again! And this is how you fucking repay me?" 

"I never asked you to do those things!"

"Because it goes without asking, Reese! But I...I don't know, I expected you to give more of a shit. Or... did you relapse? Fuck, did you?" Malcolm's heart could've dropped right there. Anxiety ran throughout his body, causing him to somehow wriggle from Reese's grip and look at his thighs and wrists. 

And it was clear. No new cuts, nothing. He hadn't looked any skinnier than he had two weeks ago. In fact, he was starting to look healthy. 

"Asshole." Reese hissed, yanking his wrist back, still straddling on Malcolm's lap. He met eyes with his brother, before playing with the ring in his nose. He expectedly got it infected, which meant nonstop itching. "You really suck, you know?"

"Maybe. But you kissed me." 

Reese shook his head, "Give it up." 

"No, Reese! I have every right to know."

"And I have every right to tell you to shut the fuck up and stop bringing it up." 

Malcolm quirked his eyebrow, "Are you threatening me?"

"Maybe." Reese looked at Malcolm's lips. "What do you care, you fucking dick." 

Suddenly, Reese was flipped around and Malcolm was the one dominance. With both hands holding down Reese's wrists, Malcolm could freely scan over his brother's face. Taking in every single feature without getting a tooth knocked out. 

From Reese's messy and fairly oily hair, to his light, barely there freckles, his cracked lips and landing on his nose piercing. 

It looked...really good. Really...hot. Exactly how Malcolm imagines Reese while getting himself off. Although, that was something he wouldn't admit he did. 

"You're beautiful." Malcolm spoke deadpan. Unsure why he actually said it aloud, but making no effort in taking it back. "Every bit of you..."

Of course, Malcolm had no idea what every part of Reese looked like. But he was more than willing to find out, despite what that meant for them. 

Plus, Reese had to feel the erection, which belonged to Malcolm, poking into his stomach. 

"Why are you being weird?" Reese asks suddenly. "Stop trying to prove a point, you smart ass."

"I'm not proving a point. I'm trying to understand you. And understand what you want." Malcolm admitted. "Is it me?" 

Reese's flushed face was the only answer Malcolm needed. 

Seconds later-not even-Malcolm connected their lips. Moaning out when he felt Reese rock up in surprise. Their clothed dicks met through friction, and neither boy stopped. Not when they got this far. 

Malcolm's tongue was exploring every fragment of Reese's mouth. Tasting him, and loving it. Groaning whenever Reese's rough lips came in contact. 

He could've came there. They both could. Rutting up against one another, moaning deeply in the other's mouth. Absolute heaven. 

Finally, Malcolm released Reese's hands, and removed himself from Reese's lap. Mentally hoping-praying-that Reese still wanted him. 

"Come here." Reese whispered, which was the only answer Malcolm needed. 

Their lips met again. This time, with force. Malcolm's hand wandered to Reese's lower back, whereas Reese's hands found their way to Malcolm's thighs. 

"Want do you want?" Malcolm moaned, separating their lips and sending trails of kisses down Reese's cheek, jaw, and neck. Sucking and biting down until a mark was made. 

"I...blow me." Reese responded, his head falling back while he breathed out heavily. 

Without disagreeing, Malcolm pulled away, began pulling down Reese's shorts after receiving a nod of consent before completely removing his underwear. Staring and drooling once he saw Reese's cock spring free. 

"You're really big." Malcolm pointed out. Strangely not expecting such a size from his brother. After all, if he put their lengths together, a size difference would be extremely obvious. To the point Malcolm got self conscious thinking about it. 

Reese chuckled nervously. "Not really..." 

Wanting to be seductive, Malcolm leaned down slowly, and tried taking Reese's length. Unquestionably gagging afterwards due to the size. Considering Malcolm never actually gave-nor received-a blowjob, he had little to no idea what the hell he was doing. 

"Just like...lick it." Reese directed. Having more experience apparently did more to him then brag. He clearly learnt a few tips and tricks along the way. "Take it slow..." 

So Malcolm did exactly that. 

He lowered his head again, kitten licking the tip and watching the small stride of precome dribble down from the tip, down the shaft. 

Malcolm shifted his head, this time, dragging his tongue from the base, up to the tip where he slowly-as Reese had explained-took in about an inch or two of his cock. Strangely loving the taste, and moaning at the feeling of the weight pushing down on his tongue. 

Reese-above Malcolm-was a mess. Sputtering moans, and jerking up and down. 

"God, Malcolm..." Reese moaned. 

"Does this feel good?" Malcolm asked, bringing his mouth up and watching as his saliva dribbled from Reese's shaft, around to his balls. It was coated. Saliva and precome causing an, almost glistening and sticky substance. He took a few seconds to breathe, before going back down and taking more. 

And honestly, Reese could've came then and there. Watching Malcolm sitting between his legs, touching every inch of Reese's cock, savouring and devouring the excess spurts of come which escaped. This was better than he could imagine. 

Reese's breath hitched when Malcolm looked up at him, showing how flushed and utterly fucked his face and lips were. Malcolm moaned once he felt Reese somehow grow harder in his mouth, sending vibrations through Reese.

Suddenly, Reese's hands were tangled through Malcolm's hair. Without thinking, he was pushing his brother down further on his cock, causing Malcolm to gag. Malcolm eyed Reese, almost warning him through his eyes, but seemingly unfazed. 

With a few more thrusts, swallows and moans, Reese was releasing down Malcolm's throat. Giving no warning, but watching Malcolm retreat and swallow every bit of Reese's come. Almost enjoying it, too. 

Malcolm stood up, walking to the bathroom-or attempting, before Reese pulled him back after putting his clothes back on. 

"Where are you going now?" Reese asked. 

"To wash my mouth. I swallowed, but it still tastes like utter shit." Malcolm pointed out. "Why?" 

"Well...I need to finish you off." 

Malcolm smirked. "I came in my pants already. Your moans were all I needed." He leant forward and pressed a sweet kiss to Reese's lips, before going back to the bathroom and closing the doors behind him. 

Reese just sat there. Confused, and...really happy. Yet, anxious. What if Francis and Dewey heard? What if they're completely disgusted and tell mom? 

So being a worried mess he is, Reese ran into the bathroom after Malcolm, and locked them both in. Undoubtedly startling his brother, but neither boy minded. 

"What's up?" Malcolm asked. "Is everything okay?" 

"I...why are you acting normal?" Reese asked, deflecting the initial question for whatever reason. 

"Because it is. I...I like you, alright? I don't know why, or how, but I do. And I really liked that." 

Reese-his heart stopping-blushed. "Me too, Malcolm." His hands were quickly wrapped around Malcolm. Subtly pressing a kiss to his cheek during. 

"I need to shower, Reese." Malcolm mumbled, "Can we talk later?" 

Admittedly, Reese was urging to jump in the shower alongside Malcolm. But debated against it. So instead, he nodded, kissed his brother, and exited the bathroom and bedroom. 

He saw Dewey and Francis on the couch, watching whatever garbage happened to be on. And figured, why not join? So he sat beside them. Smiling more than he should've been, but thankfully nobody questioned it. 

"Where's Malcolm?" Francis asked. "Are you two alright?" 

"Yeah. He's in the shower." Reese confirmed. "Thanks." 

"No problem, Reese. I love seeing you two get along." 

"Me too..." And he did. Except, with completely different meanings behind it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter was short...but hey, smut right?


	6. official boyfriends go on dates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reese and Malcolm make it offical and go on their first date

Nobody could sleep. Not when they were seconds away from turning into bacon by how goddamn hot the weather had been all week. I mean, how warm can it be halfway through the night? Fucking summer. 

The cherry on top for Reese, though, was how he got to stay up late talking to Malcolm. Saying anything that came to his head and-for once-didn't get judged. Not outwardly, at least. Sure, Malcolm snickered at some of Reese's stupid comments but not in a 'you're stupid' kind of way. 

Even now; Reese wasn't in his bed, but in Malcom's. They were face to face-inches apart-and babbling about god knows what. Anything and everything. Sure, they were forced to share a bed since Francis had been staying, but that was beside the point. Truthfully, they wanted to. 

"Have you ever had a real girlfriend?" Malcolm asked quietly. 

"What do you mean by real?" Reese chuckled. "Have I made up having a girlfriend?" 

"No, you idiot. I mean...like, a long lasting relationship. With a girl." 

Reese had to think for a moment. "I don't know...I don't think so. Allison and I lasted but, I'm not sure if I felt what I was supposed to be feeling, you know" 

Malcolm smiled. "I get that." 

After checking and confirming Francis and Dewey were securely asleep, Malcolm's lips were pressed to Reese's forehead. Soft and gentle, knowing Reese would be more than pleased with the gesture. 

"You're making me a total sap." Reese groaned, his finger lightly grazing across the kiss mark. "I can't believe what we did earlier...what if we got caught?" 

"But we didn't, remember?" Malcolm sighs. "What we did was wrong, Reese. But what's life without doing things you're not supposed to? And nobody needs to know. Nobody will ever know. This is ours." 

If Reese was being honest, he needed to know what Malcolm was referring to by 'ours.' Whether that meant the kiss, the blowjob or whatever their relationship was now.

Unfortunately for him, Reese didn't have enough balls to ask where this was going, or what exactly it is. 

"Reese, are you alright?" Malcolm asked, sensing Reese's trail of thought, unconsciously intertwining their hands. 

"Yeah, sorry." Reese mumbled, chuckling nervously afterward. "I'm just tired. Maybe we should get to bed..."

"We are in bed." Malcolm joked, unsuccessfully receiving a laugh from his brother. Not even a smirk, which was unlike Reese. He always laughed at pointless crap. "Sorry...you should go to sleep. Talk to you in the morning." 

"Yeah...goodnight, Mal." Reese mumbled in repose. Blushing once he felt Malcolm's arm slip around his waist, pulling them infinitely closer. Their nose touched slightly, lips inches apart too. Maybe Reese truely did have a reason to be concerned about them. But how could he just ask? Malcolm was most likely just as confused. Plus, Reese was seen-by default-as the stronger and more competent one. 

"Reese." Malcolm whispered. Breaking the one or two minuet silence held between Reese and himself. 

"Yeah?" Reese hastily replied. 

"Are you actually tired?"

"No..why?" 

Malcolm sighed. His breath warm against Reese's face. 

"Are you...awake?" Malcolm asked, voice evidently anxious. 

"Well, yeah?" Reese-confused-mumbled. 

"Follow me to the lounge room." 

"Why?" Considering his lack of intelligence, Malcolm wasn't surprised Reese hadn't caught along to what he was trying to implement between them. In saying that, though, Malcolm figured Reese would be consciously five steps ahead in the whole 'sexual content' department. 

Malcolm shook his head and chuckled, before quietly leaving the room and made his way to the couch. Leaving Reese confused, and contemplating whether or not he should follow.

Nonetheless, he did. Reese followed Malcolm after a minuet and met him at the couch. Tiptoeing in case his family awoke and found them.

Without a warning, Malcolm mounted to Reese's lap. His hands resting on both Reese's shoulders, while he smiled smugly. Almost wanting to _challenge_ something. 

"What are you doing?" Reese whisper-shouted. He made a promise to himself that he would never get caught fooling around with someone by his parents. But this? Getting caught with his literal brother? That would somehow stope lower than the original, fictional bar.

"Why are you freaking out?" Malcolm asked. "I thought you enjoyed this? Oh my god, did I-" 

"-No! You didn't do anything wrong. But...what if someone walks out here? Quite frankly I would rather die then explain what the hell this is." Reese paused. "What...is this, anyway?" 

Malcolm blushed, "I don't know...whatever you want it to be. I really...I'm enjoying it."

"Are you sure? Because...I don't want to pressure you into anything. I need us to be comfortable together." 

"I sucked you off less than six hours ago, we've made out and I've lived with you my entire life. I can confidently say I'm comfortable with whatever." Malcolm gigged. Literally giggled, and it almost killed Reese. 

"Good point." Reese grinned. Eyeing Malcolm for a minuet before taking ahold of his hand. Intertwining their fingers and feeling nothing expect security surfacing around them. Completely filled with lust at the feeling of just holding Malcolm. Knowing this was leading somewhere, and somewhere safe. Happy. 

And although he didn't say it, Malcolm felt the exact same. Overwhelmingly excited this was truely happening. 

"So...what are we calling this?" Malcolm asked quietly. Pecking Reese's cheeks, forehead, nose and chin softly. 

"Boyfriend." Reese announced, "We're boyfriends..." 

"Offical boyfriends." 

Reese's heart was beating so fast he was afraid Malcolm could hear it. But-for once-it wasn't anxiety. In fact, Reese was almost certain that it's the first time he had ever been this happy with a beating heart. 

With that, Malcolm connected their lips. Allowing his thumb to trace Reese's cheek as they continued. But the kiss...it was different from anything they ever did. 

It was filled with lust. Astonishment. Everything both boy's tried to find in their past relationships, but couldn't. It was almost like meeting for the first time, getting to know-really know-one another. 

And it was sweet. 

Reese subconsciously moved his own hands to Malcolm's lower back, rubbing circles and tracing words he had no true intention to say aloud, on his back. 

They separated before anything got _too_ hot. Knowing the whole vibe relied on comfort and soft kisses, not going straight down each other's pants as they did earlier.

"Should we go back to bed?" Reese asked. 

"Yeah...but I want a snack." Malcolm admitted. Carefully removing himself from Reese's lap, and racing to the cupboard. Grabbing what seemed to be a box of chips, which were sure to make a loud noise once opened. 

Reese chuckled, going back to the room and jumping as soon as he noticed Francis and Dewey standing up, facing the door with their arms crossed, the lights on. 

"Hello Reese. Where have you been?" Francis asked. The smug asshole had only been back for a few days and he was already interrogating his brothers. 

"I...why are you awake?" Reese defended the question. 

"I could ask you the same." 

Shortly after awkward eye contact, Malcolm clumsily walked into the room. Equally as confused as Reese had been. 

"I'm sorry, did we wake you?" Malcolm asked. "Reese and I were trying to sneak out to a party but we got kicked out." 

Reese glared in Malcolm's direction. 

"Oh, I know. I woke up and you idiots were gone. I heard a noise in the kitchen which explains the crisps, but guys-you need to be more careful." Francis-like a parent-explained.

"Thanks, Francis." Malcolm smiled. 

"No problem." 

"Wait, whose party?" Dewey asked.

Reese shrugged. "Allison." 

"Are you dating again?" Dewey always liked Allison. No wonder he got so excited over this comment. 

"No, Dewey, go to bed." 

* * *

“Reese, is that a hickey!” Lois screamed, pulling her son’s collar down and gasping at the red marks coating his neck.

Apparently Malcolm was good with his mouth, but complete shit with his eyes. 

"No, mom!" Reese lied. "I ran into...a pole!" 

"I know what a love mark is, Reese. And I want you to tell me right now who gave this to you, otherwise, you're grounded!" 

"I already am grounded!" 

Lois paused for a moment. "Well...no television for a month!" 

Dewey and Malcolm groaned, "Mom, that's not fair." 

It wasn't fair. But really, Malcolm had no right arguing with it. Not when he caused this mess. But even so, Reese didn't mind. 

"I've had enough of you, Reese! Why can't you stop misbehaving for three seconds? Craig is coming around and if you keep up this act, you'll be staying with him!" 

"I'm seventeen, mom. I can drive, I have a job, I pay rent. Are you seriously upset because I'm in a relationship?" Reese rolled his eyes. "I don't understand why you act like such a tight ass about me dating. I'm a teenage boy, do you really expect me to stay single my whole life?"

"No. But...I just want you safe." Lois admits. "Why do you think I'm so hard on you? It's not because I'm mean. It's because I would be wrecked if you got your heart broken." 

Reese looked to Malcolm. Both sharing the same expression. 

"I'm not going to get my heart broken." Reese reassured. 

Lois sighed. "Are you going to introduce her to us?"

After biting his lip anxiously for a moment, and thinking over how he could tell his mom it was a boy, not a girl. Reese just nodded. "Yeah. Soon enough."

He ignored Malcolm's dead glare. 

"Good. Now, Malcolm? Are you still visiting Stevie? Why don't you invite him here instead, so he can meet Francis?" 

Malcolm shrugs. "I don't know, mom...he gets anxious and uncomfortable." 

"You told him about Francis already and scared him off, didn't you?" Lois unimpressively asked. 

"Yeah...I did. I'm sorry." 

Francis coughed suddenly. "Excuse me, what exactly did you tell your friend about me?" 

"How many times you've been arrested..." Malcolm admitted. 

"I don't even know that!" 

"I made up a number." 

Groaning, Francis turned his attention back to Lois. He didn't actually want to meet his brothers friend, but if he was absolutely required, he didn't feel the need to argue instead. 

"Stop your bickering! Why don't you all just stay home and have a day to yourself? Francis will be leaving soon, so make the most of what you have now, boys." Lois orders, a somewhat polite smile plastered across her face. 

"Fine, mom." Malcolm agreed, knowing that was the only thing he could do. And plus, Francis would most likely occupy himself with the television. Leaving Malcolm and Reese to do whatever it is they please. 

And with that, Lois grabbed her bag, kissed each of her children's heads before leaving for work. 

"I'm in charge now." Francis directed. "So you will do whatever I say without any disagreements." 

With a obvious roll of his eyes, Malcolm sighed loudly. Ever since Francis 'grew up' he became much more of a bore than he had ever been before. A bore, meaning a tight ass prick who unconsciously controlled everyone around him. 

"I'm joking you idiots." Francis repeated, evidently sensing his younger brother's unimpressed expressions. 

"So...we can do what we want?" Reese questioned, eagerly eyeing Malcolm. "Because we were going to go see a movie, if you don't mind." 

"Sure. Do whatever. But be home before mom so I don't get cut open and get my organs and limbs ripped." 

Malcolm and Reese agreed, before racing out the backdoor, running down their street and finally stopping for a breath once they got close to the Main Street. 

"What are we doing?" Malcolm asked, breathing heavily. 

"It's a surprise." Reese smiled. "I want to be a good _boyfriend._ And good boyfriends go on dates."

Putting aside the blush he held, Malcolm easily agreed. It got pretty hot suddenly, and the food court almost always had an air conditioner running. Something the Wilkerson household did not own. 

Hal insisted the boys run around outside whenever it got warm. Which was pretty dumb, considering running was what made them warmer. 

"Let's go then." Malcolm nodded. Following after Reese, Giggling like a girl, when he felt their hands graze against each other. 

Instead of a blindfold, or anything virtually similar, Reese decided to use his beanie and throw it over Malcolm's eyes, then pulling him in whatever direction. 

Admittedly, Reese had no idea what he was doing. Why he said this would be a romantic date, because he actually had a modest amount of knowledge in that department.

In saying that, Reese was an expert in bullshitting his way through anything. Fortunately, that was his strength. 

"What are we doing? Come on, I'll find out eventually." Malcolm nags, suddenly annoyed with the hot weather and the beanie covering his face. Or maybe-more likely-he was just overly excited about whatever it is they were about to do. 

"Dude, it's a surprise." Reese whispered back. Checking around them, before pecking Malcolm's clothed head quickly. "I probably should've brought more money, though."

"What? Reese, I'm paying half." 

"No, you're not."

"I refuse to be the girl in this relationship!"

With a roll of Reese's eyes, which Malcolm couldn't see, they stopped their conversation at that. 

"We're here." Reese announced, minuets later. Grinning to himself after removing the 'blindfold' and seeing Malcolm's face turn to astonishment. 

"Reese..." Malcolm whispered. Honestly, he could've gotten teary-eyed if not for how utterly cliche that would have been. 

They were at a hill. One where they used to go as children and talk about absolute bullshit until their mom came and picked them up. It was their special place, and Reese remembered. He actually did put thought into this. 

And Malcolm's feelings evolved deeply in those few seconds. He felt more passion, love and lust for Reese. Everything one should feel in a relationship-and more. 

"And look." Reese nudged Malcolm. "We can get food from that new McDonalds." 

"I'm not hungry..." Malcolm wasn't. Not for food anyway. He wanted nothing more than to _touch_ Reese. _Devour_ him. "Not for food, anyway. Is this place private?" 

"Uh, I think so. Why?" Reese asked. 

Having no control over himself, Malcolm hastily found his way to Reese's lap. A gesture much too common nowadays. And without a second of thought, connected their lips. Only for a second, though. Before anything could get too deep, a car pulled up beside them.

Nobody exited the car. Instead, the two teenagers who pulled up stayed and what seemed to be fuck one another. That much was obvious, by the car shaking and the faded screams. Otherwise, someone was getting murdered. 

Either way, Malcolm and Reese ran for their lives. Laughing uncontrollably as the wind blew in their faces. 

"This is amazing!" Malcolm screamed, "Fuck!" 

Reese followed along, cussing into the sunset sky for whatever reason. 

"I'm having a really good time with you." Malcolm admitted as soon as his throat began hurting and he couldn't scream anymore. "I really like you."

"Me too." Reese agreed. "A lot."

Instead of savouring the sweet moment, Malcolm ran off again. And without a second to think, Reese ran after him. 

And all Reese could think, was how much 'liking' someone, felt awfully similar to 'love.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is such a crappy story...im sorry. anyway, hope you enjoyed?? whatever...but thank you for reading because this has been really fun to write and I'm enjoying it heaps!!<3


	7. accidental I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm and Reese end up drinking more than they should one night after Lois, Hal and Dewey go out of town to visit Francis.

"You boys better be good. If we find a single thing out of place I will end you both. I know every trick; don't take me as stupid." Lois says strictly. Pointed towards Reese, more so than Malcolm. "I'm warning you. If anything is out of place, I will murder you both with my bare hands." 

Rolling their eyes, Reese and Malcolm nod along. They've received this warning every time Lois is away for more than 12 hours. And although they _sometimes_ disobeyed it, they eventually learnt to follow the rules...and to change the systems sometimes. Whichever they were in the mood for.

But naturally, this time was different. Somewhere along the line, Malcolm somehow managed to convince someone years older than him to buy some vodka.

Which meant Malcolm and Reese could freely drink and get as wasted as they wanted, without-hopefully-getting caught, and not needing to use his parent's alcohol and water them down afterwards. Or refill the beverage without a different type of alcoholic drink. Anything they wanted. 

Now-they can be true teenagers without any worries. 

"We know, mom." Malcolm and Reese spoke in sync. "We love you. Have fun, bye."

Their voices were monotone, unhinged. Proving to their parents anything they tried talking about, went completely unnoticed and they were unbothered by it. 

After all, Malcolm and Reese's only concerns were what they were going to do, how they would do it, and where the night would lead. 

So once Reese made sure Lois, Hal and Dewey were out of the house, in the car and down the street, he immediately spun around and jumped onto his brother's back. 

"Be a horse!" Reese screamed, "Move, horse! Move!" 

Though he was more than less confused on this sudden change of behaviour, Malcolm followed along. Running around the house with Reese held on his back, legs around his waist and cheeks pressed together. 

"I fucking _love_ riding you," Reese whispered. 

Despite him almost dying by that stupid joke, Malcolm brushed it off and continued racing around with Reese on his back, ignoring the newly formed tent in his pants. Knowing there was no point in giving in now, since, he and Reese had the entire night to do what they wanted. 

"What do you want to do?" Malcolm asked. "Because I'm up for whatever." 

"Malcolm, you wouldn't do half the shit I suggested." Reese laughed. "Let's do whatever you want." 

Malcolm was going to argue at first, before thinking over the insult, and agreeing. Knowing Reese was, actually, making a point. "What if we...have a bath?" 

"A bath?"

"Yeah..." 

Reese snickered, "What do you mean, 'have a bath?' this is supposed to be our night alone." 

"That's the point." Malcolm gently took Reese's hand in his own and pulled both of them to the bathroom. "We can make it romantic...or whatever..."

"How do you mean?" 

"Well," Malcolm began explaining. "We could put bubbles in. And some scented shit...maybe even some of mom's bath dyestuff. It would be nice." 

And it would be nice. In fact, it would be fucking incredibly nice that Reese had no idea what he could actually reply with. Especially since he shot down the idea already. 

"Reese? Did I just embarrass myself, or-" 

"-No!" Reese said loudly. "Sorry, but...that sounds really nice. I would like that." 

"Ok...cool." Malcolm smiled. "You go do something and I'll fix this up, sound good?" 

"Yeah. I'll get drinks and food!" 

After a quick kiss, Reese and Malcolm went their separate ways. 

Reese to the kitchen to make grab some drinks, and make some food. 

Whereas Malcolm looked through his mother's drawers to find whatever it is she uses to make the bath smell good. And thankfully, it was all easy to find. 

"It's done, Reese!" Malcolm called out. 

In which Reese quickly came running with his supplies, and immediately breathed in the scent. 

"This smells amazing." Reese smiled. "Thank you." 

Malcolm nodded, "What did you make?" 

"Oh! I made some fruit, melted chocolate and some tuna sandwiches...is that okay?" 

Despite Malcolm hating tuna, he nodded along anyway. Appreciating the gesture rather than pointing out what he did, and did not like. 

So after the two boys practically raced to get into the bathtub first, they were sitting peacefully. Barely fitting, but somehow managing. 

Malcolm and Reese were sat across from one another, legs intertwined and rubbing against each other. 

"Can I ask you something?" Malcolm asked after a few minutes. 

"Sure," Reese replied eagerly. 

"When did you start...liking me?" 

Shifting uncomfortably, Reese shrugged. "I think I knew subconsciously for a while but didn't fully understand my own feelings. But other than that, I suppose I knew around the time you were helping me with everything."

"Really?" Malcolm bit his sleep to hold his grin. "That's really sweet...you know I will always help you, though, right? You mean a lot to me." Malcolm paused, "But, this is like...fucking weird." Malcolm spoke. 

"What is?" Reese asked. 

"You and me. Us. Together...I mean, nobody has any idea, don't you think that's bizarre?" 

"I guess...but I don't care who knows or not. You're my boyfriend...and brother, so that's all I care about. Plus, if anyone would out we'd be, like, the laughing stock of the entire neighbourhood." 

Malcolm smiled warmly. "You need to stop being such a sap. I absolutely hate when you get all kind. I'm still not entirely used to _this_ Reese."

"I just...I'm happy when we're together. Kissing you is my favourite hobby." 

After receiving an exaggerated wink, Malcolm giggled in an excruciatingly way. Emphasising how incredibly shitty that joke-or at least what Malcolm thought was a joke-had turned out. But even so, he couldn't help but appreciate it.

"What's this?" Malcolm asked, pointing to the seemingly expensive bottle sat on the toilet seat-somehow standing-from across the room. 

"I'm not sure, honestly. I got whatever looked the most romantic. It might taste like shit, I'm sorry." Reese admitted. 

"Shut up. Don't even think about saying 'sorry,' you're too sweet." 

"I thought I was a sap?" Reese smugly remarked. 

Malcolm rolled his eyes, before waving Reese off. "Turn around, I'm getting the alcohol." 

"I've seen you naked, Malcolm. In fact, I-" 

"-Don't even start." Malcolm shot down the attempted unholy conversation starter before anything bad could come out of it. Instead, splashing Reese in the face, and letting water drip across the bathroom floor so he could grab the beverage which seemed to be wine, and pour himself and his brother a glass. 

Until Malcolm realized only one glass was to be seen. 

"You only brought one glass?" Malcolm asked, pouring the bubbly liquid into the one glass. Filling it halfway, since that's how he always saw it in movies. And for some unexplainable reason, to Malcolm, this seemed like a fictional moment in his life. Maybe it was Reese, maybe it was the fumes from the bath. But he felt _free._

"Sorry...I thought we could share?" Reese offered. 

And weirdly enough, that pretty much confirmed Malcolm's vision. How he imagined his movie love scene to go if you will. 

Malcolm put the glass down again, instead, spinning around and moving back to sit on Reese's bare lower half. 

The bathwater splashed, some overflowing over the brim. But neither showed any interest. 

"You're horny now, aren't you?" Reese asked. 

"Yeah...you're just so pretty." Malcolm couldn't see Reese's face, but he knew what it looked like. 

Scrunched up, blushing and forcing back a grin. 

And with that, Reese was bucking up against Malcolm's ass. Letting small moans escape his mouth, and almost releasing right then and there, feeling his cock against Malcolm's ass. 

"This feels...oh god," Reese whispered. 

But Malcolm turned around, ending Reese's moment of pleasure. 

"I want to watch," Malcolm admitted. 

"Watch what?" Reese asked. 

"You...touching yourself." 

Reese's eyes almost feel out of the socket. "Are you sure?" 

"Yeah, I am." Malcolm smiled. "Only if you're comfortable."

"I am...but you'll need to get off me." 

Which Malcolm did swiftly. Though, sighing once he realized he couldn't see Reese from under the bubbles. 

"Let's go in the shower," Malcolm spoke. 

In spite of his confusion, Reese easily agreed and pulled the plug from the bath, racing Malcolm to the shower. Somewhere along the way, tipping over the glass full of wine. 

Once arrived, Reese pulled the shower curtain across, hiding them from nobody. 

Malcolm twisted the knob, allowing cold water to pour until it slowly got warm. 

"Go on." Malcolm urged on.

Reese wrapped a hand around his lower region, before nodding back to Malcolm. "Do it with me."

Malcolm followed along, wrapping a hand around himself. 

They both tugged, stroked and groaned out watching one another, making sensual eye contact and holding it until someone came. Which happened to be Reese first. 

They finished their shower, taking turns in washing one another's hair, taking advantage of the moment and completely loving it. They got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around their waist, before retreating back to the bedroom. Both falling back to lay on the bed. 

" _I love you_." Reese breathed out, before slapping his hand across his mouth, because, holy fuck. 

Neither of them have said that. _Not once._

"You _love_ me?" Malcolm asked, turning his head to the side and taking in Reese's side features. _  
_

"I...I'm sorry. I know it's fast...and weird."

"No...I..." Malcolm bit his lip. "I'm just shocked, is all." 

"Not angry?" Reese asked, finally opening his eyes after keeping them shut-tight-for what seemed like years.

Malcolm chucked. "I'm no where near angry...should we go to sleep?" 

Malcolm moved like nothing happened, dropping his towel, and sneaking under the bedsheets while Reese just stared blankly at the roof. 

Did that mean it was unrequited? Did Malcolm not love him? 

"Reese, are you coming?" Malcolm asked. 

Reese followed, sliding beside his brother, still deadpan. 

"Night...have a good sleep." Malcolm pecked Reese's lips before turning to his side and not long after, snoozing off. 

Man, Reese really needed help with this one...

Help from someone he could trust with his life. And that would be fucking hard to find, but he had someone in mind right away. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry, i was lazy this chapter :( I feel like this story sucks, should I continue or not lol???


	8. declares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i guess you have to read to know the plot *shrugs*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> self harm trigger waning :(

Malcolm knew without being told. 

Sure, Reese gained weight. But even an idiot could see he was still, somehow underweight. And now their bitch of a mom was forcing him to do something that would be sure to reveal everything Reese was self-conscious over. 

And although Malcolm-nor Reese-could blame her, because, how would she know? They were equally pissed with this decision. 

After the fiasco with Reese considering his and Malcolm's relationship was fake, now he had to deal with the extra anxiety of everything you needed for a swim team. 

"Why can't I just get a job?" Reese asked, desperate for closure. 

"You have a job!" Lois argued. "I'm doing this so you can play a sport." 

"Why can't I play football? Or basketball!" 

"Because I said so! I'm not asking you, Reese. I'm telling you. If you want to get anywhere In life, you need to branch out. Your brother can't do everything for you." 

Malcolm rolled his eyes, "Nobody asked me to do shit for him! Mom, he's seventeen."

Lois rolls her eyes. "Exactly, Malcolm. Eighteen and irresponsible! I need him to get somewhere in life, and at this rate, he'll get as far as becoming a dog!" 

Reese could've cried. He was horrible, his entire life has been spent terrorizing innocent people, but he was trying now To get good grades, be a genuinely better person. And if Malcolm was smart enough to realize that, how wasn’t Lois?

Hiding their relationship was tough, times like this. They couldn’t defend one another without making up nonsense to act like they weren’t hiding something, they had to pretend to disagree and only save each other when completely vital.

Honestly, it was a shit show.

But both Malcolm, nor Reese would give it up for anything in this world.

“This is not your business, Malcolm. Nobody needs you in this conversation, just go to your room!” 

“No, don’t go.” Reese defended. “I want him here. If you can talk to me like this, he can hear.” 

Lois looked so angry, Reese could have sworn one of her veins popped.

”Fine! Reese, I think you’re a disgrace and never do anything good enough for me to be proud of you. I’m not asking you to jump off a bridge or to present a speech to your entire school. I’m asking you to do one thing I can be proud of you for. Is that so hard?” Lois asked. Her voice low, yet raised. Angry, yet shallow. 

Reese was jaw dropped. Amazed his mom actually stooped down that low to criticize him, and outwardly share her opinions in such a way, that would make any child want to cave in on themselves. 

“Thanks, mom. I’m really, really fucking stoked to know you opinionated your children based on their abilities and lack of. Also, a daily reminder: you’re a bitch and I never want to see you again!” Reese turned and ran, ran like he never had before, and didn’t look back. 

He was ashamed. Embarrassed. Malcolm heard every insult that was thrown towards Reese, and somehow, that was the worst part. 

Aside from, well, everything Lois yelled was true. Reese was a complete, and utter fuck up. 

Reese continued running until he unintentionally ended up at his brother’s friend-Cynthia’s-house.

Panicked, he knocked on the door and awaited to be noticed.

Moments later, the door was swung open and revealed a very confused Cynthia. 

"Reese? Uh, hey?" She spoke, questioning his arrival. More than likely even more confused by the tears which clearly stained his cheeks. 

"I didn't know where to go." Reese sobbed, "My mom..."

"What? What happened? Are you alright? Where is Malcolm?" 

"I'm here," Malcolm announced, suddenly appearing beside Reese. "I'm sorry, shit's been going on and we weren't sure where to go. Don't mind us."

Malcolm took Reese's hand in his own, pulling him towards a nearby bridge, running down the hill and ending up under. 

"I'm really sorry." Malcolm cooed. "I can't believe she said what she did." 

"I can believe it." Reese met Malcolm's eyes. "I'm a moron, Malcolm. Why the fuck do you even try defending me?" 

"Because...you're my brother, and I love you." 

"Really? You love me?" Reese laughed harshly. "Took fucking long enough for you to say, I went crazy this week wondering whether this is true or not!"

"Of course I love you." Malcolm's voice was soft again, and his arms were shortly wrapped around Reese's waist. "More than anyone or anything. And I know it's not ideal, and hard for you, but I'll be at every one of your swim meets." 

"Really?"

"Of course." 

The two slept under the bridge that night, held in one another's arms, and having little to no worries. They ignored the rats and other disgustingly infect animals which crossed their pass. 

The morning was pretty hard. Reese and Malcolm had to wash in the lake and skipped brushing their teeth and hair. Somehow they didn't end up smelling like complete shit. 

They walked to school together easily. Having a few of the same assholes from their school call out shit, but ignored it. 

Once arriving, they unfortunately split. After sharing a kiss once they made sure nobody was around. 

It was nice. Perfect. They just hoped it would last forever. 

* * *

"Sir, can I use the restroom?" Reese asked, a few of his teammates chuckling, which he questionably brushed off. It had been around three weeks since he joined the team, and needless to say, he wasn't exactly accepted. Having tormented them and all...

"Yes, you can. But be quick." The teacher-who was fairly nice-nodded. Though quickly dismissing Reese like it was nothing. 

Reese wrapped a towel around his lower half, before making his way to the bathrooms. Unconsciously fidgeting with his hands until he reached the toilet stall. 

After a quick piss, he brushed himself down for no particular reason, before reaching the sinks and gasping. 

"What the fuck..." Reese splashed water to the mirror, attempting to wash off the horrific words seemingly written on with a permeant marker, and failed. Oh fuck.

Seconds later, boys from his swim group burst into the bathroom, holding their shitty cameras and giggling like little girls.

"Reese Wilkerson fucks his brother!" One of them screamed. Receiving obnoxious laughter from his friends. 

"What...the fuck?" Reese asked, trying his hardest to keep his rapid heartbeat on the down-low. 

"We saw you sucking your brother's tongue!" 

Reese gasped. This would fucking end his life...

"Anorexic, brother-fucker!" Another boy laughed. 

And the torment continued, followed by a few punches, and ending with Reese's face bleeding in every spot. The boys smugly walked out of the bathroom, leaving Reese alone. 

He was crying as soon as the boys left. In agony, mentally and physically. 

Dragging himself across the floor, taking one of the pieces of glass which smashed when his head was slammed against it. 

He didn't bother sanitising, he went straight in, pulling up his swimming trunks and carving straight lines across his thighs. Gasping at the sting, but making no effort to stop. 

After all, he deserved this. 

Or at least that was the last thought on Reese's mind, before he fell unconscious, covered in blood and seemingly dead. 


	9. waking up in hospital

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reese wakes up, barely alive, and aching.

Words were scrambled, barely there, hollow. 

Reese's eyes opened and closed. Like the weight completely held him down, and he had no opinion to keep shut.

"You were supposed to take care of him!" Lois yelled, "How did you let him do this to himself?" 

"Are you kidding me!" Malcolm was crying, that much was obvious. "Mom, I love him. More than I do anyone else in our horrible family. Aren't you, at all, feeling guilty?"

”Why would I be guilty? Did he tell you he would do this?” 

“No! I...” Malcolm paused and took a breath, calming down his hitched and broken throat. “You said a lot to him. A lot about _him_ , that completely fucked with his head. Reese didn’t need to tell me, either. I... I helped him. I thought he was better! But you, you...you didn’t even realize! So don’t you dare give me shit for being the blame, I did a hell of a lot more than you!”

Lois fell silent, only her soft footsteps could be heard as she walked closer to the hospital bed her son-barely alive, seemingly peacefully asleep. 

“I’m sorry,” Lois whispered. 

Reese tried again, to open his eye. He wanted to tell her it was okay. Okay, because he lived. And that chance wasn’t as fortunate for some people. 

But he couldn’t lift his eyelids. Nor could he move any other inch of his body. And it scared Reese, to the point he wanted to scream. But again, he couldn’t. 

“I’m sorry, mom. I didn’t mean to be so harsh...this isn’t your fault.” Malcolm tried making it better, sensing Lois’ obvious change of emotion. 

“Then who was it? If not me, who?”

Malcolm stayed quiet. He had no idea. 

Before the _incident_ , Reese had no time to tell anyone. Not since he was barely there when it happened. 

“We should let him rest.” Malcolm spoke a few minutes later, “He’s in a lot of pain, and the doctors said he won’t wake up for a few hours, possibly days.” 

And if this situation couldn’t get worse, Lois broke down. Crying out ugly sobs, latching onto Malcolm. 

“Mom...” Malcolm soothed. “Shall I call dad? Ask him to meet us?” 

“I...if you don’t mind.” 

Reese could hear everything going on above him, but having lacking abilities to move, he couldn’t do anything about it. 

He could tell by the quiet footsteps, and Lois’ crying suddenly becoming much harsher, Malcolm was out of the room, and off to call Hal.

”Honey...I’m sorry.” Lois sobbed, her hand landing on Reese’s. “I love you. And I never meant what I said...I’m so proud of you. Every day. You need to know that. You need to know how badly I need you here. How badly we all need you to wake up and call us names...make the same practical jokes that are awful, but never fail to make your dad crack up. And I know how much your brothers love you. Malcolm especially. ” 

With Lois crying for minutes, clutching to Reese, Malcolm came back soon enough. 

“Dad will be here soon. He told me to tell you that he loves you.” Malcolm’s voice had a smile to it, Reese knew that. It sounded hopeful, the same overly optimistic voice he used whenever times got tough, and he needed to cheer people up.

”Thank you, Malcolm. I love you.” Lois said, voice shaking.

”I know. Me too.”

Hal, Dewey and Francis arrived at the hospital a little under an hour later. 

“Thank you for coming all this way, Francis,” Lois spoke, pecking her eldest son’s cheek upon his arrival.

“Of course. I can’t believe what happened...he never showed any signs, you know?” Francis’ voice sounded hurt like he couldn’t believe Reese was capable of such a thing.

”We know.” Hal spoke, on behalf of the rest of the family. “He’s been unconscious for a couple of days. The doctors think he’ll wake up soon, and hopefully, start hearing us.” 

Reese was already a step ahead, hearing everything his family was saying-and feeling disgusted in himself for taking the only ounce of happiness they had left.

”When can he go home?” Dewey asked, his voice loud, meaning he was close to Reese’s bed. “Can we take him home today? Or tomorrow?” 

The room was quiet, nobody answering until a nurse entered and cut the awkward tension which had built up.

”Good afternoon, everyone. Would you mind stepping outside for a minute while I take Reese’s blood pressure?” She asked. “I’ll be as quick as possible.”

Which the family did gracefully. 

Reese could feel the nurse holding him gently, wrapping something he couldn’t quite pinpoint around his upper arm before a machine started making a noise and the bandage around his arm fell tighter and tighter. 

“Reese, can you hear me?” The doctor asked. “Move your hand if you can.”

Strangely enough, the same, weight lift feeling was gone. Reese freely moved his hand and felt his eyes able to inch open.

“You’ve been in urgent care for five days now, Reese. You have been in stable condition, and will be allowed out once we take some more tests and find out what we need in case you ever try to harm yourself again.” The nurse explained. 

“Okay...” Reese croaked out. His voice felt rugged, hoarse. Understandable, having not spoken for almost a week. 

“That’s good, honey. Speak slowly and small words and it’ll come back naturally. You seem to be doing much better, and we’ve fixed up your cuts, and sterilised you enough for infections to be out of the picture. Would you like to rest or have your family come back in?”

Reese took a small breath, “Family...”

Minutes later, Reese's family crept back in, all smiling like absolute idiots at their son. Glad his eyes were open and he was alive.

"Oh, Reese." Lois leaned down and hugged her son, slightly squashing him, but neither one of them saying anything. "I love you so much...and I'm so happy you're here." She backed away, smiling, and allowing Hal to replace her. 

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, son," Hal admitted. "But it goes without saying; how much I care for you."

"So do we." Francis smiled, pulling himself and Dewey beside the bed. "Next time you feel so...down, you need to talk to us. We'll always be there. Whether or not you like it."

Which left Malcolm. 

Distressed, hurt and so dearly relieved Malcolm. 

"I'm sorry..." Reese whispered, aimed at his whole family, but mostly towards Malcolm. "I love you." 

Using every inch of himself to not cry, Malcolm slowly walked closer to the bed, leant down, and pressed a light kiss to Reese's forehead. 

"I can't believe you did this." Malcolm sounded angry. "But I love you...can we have a second?" 

Lois nodded, pulling everyone out of the room with her. 

"How could you, Reese? I thought you were better." Malcolm sighed, biting his lip, as well as his sobs which were threatening to escape at any moment. "You never came to me. And I'm sorry if this is selfish-but I thought we had trust! The ability to tell one another everything?" 

"I know...we do..." Reese confirmed. "But, I need..." 

Reese cut himself off once he noticed Malcolm swallow. 

"I'm sorry. There is no 'we' anymore." Malcolm looked back an forth from Reese to the floor, until he had enough and walked out the room, past his family and to go home and cry as hard as he could. 

Which left Reese-somehow more of-a mess.

Four days later, Lois was wheeling Reese back home from his prescribed wheelchair. Receiving cheers and recovery signs from the rest of the family.

"Hi everyone." Reese smiled softly, subtly trying to search around the room for Malcolm-but having no such luck in finding him. 

"We're so happy you're home!" Dewey cheered, almost knocking over Reese but how big his welcoming cuddle was. 

"Me too," Reese admitted. "Where, uh, is Malcolm?" 

Hal looked to the floor, everyone else copying him. 

"What? Where did he go?" Reese asked again. 

"He hasn't been here for the past few days..." Francis spoke, "Don't worry, he's just...got tests coming up, you know?" 

Reese rolled his eyes. "I'm not a moron. But, why is he mad at me? I never meant to hurt anyone..."

"That's the point." Lois directed. "You didn't hurt anyone, you hurt yourself. Badly. And...what would have happened? If you weren't found as soon as you did?" 

That question went unknown. 

"I've got no idea..." Reese admitted, "But you need to know, the guys on the swim team pushed me." 

"What? How?" 

How could Reese admit the truth without exposing his ass? But even so, there wasn't anything to expose now.

Unless Reese was just high on medication and Malcolm hadn't actually broken up with him. But that one seemed unlikely. Given the circumstances following up to now.

"Nothing, I'm making a joke." 

Hal looked rather unimpressed. "Don't be making jokes, not now-and not ever. This isn't at all funny." 

"You don't think I know that? My fucking thighs are sliced in half!" Reese screams, "And now my own brother won't talk to me because I'm so fucking stupid!" 

Francis-noticing their parents reaction-took Reese's wheelchair and pushed both of them to the bathroom. Making sure to lock the door behind. 

"What are you doing? Why are you acting like a complete asshole? I know it's been hard for you, but Reese!" Francis argued, "You can't act like this out of anger because Malcolm isn't here. I don't know why you two have a sudden change of heart towards one another, but whatever it is, you can't include us in it!"

"I'm sorry...I...can I be honest for a moment?" Reese asked. 

Francis nodded. 

This would either entirely fuck Reese in the back and ruin his life, or potentially end up good-which was certainly unlikely.

"I like Malcolm." He admitted quickly. "More than a brother." 

"You...wait, what the fuck?" Francis asked, "I don't get what you're-" 

"-I _like_ him. I _want_ him."

"Why? I don't get it...how?" 

Reese shrugged uncomfortably. "It just kind of happened. When I started cutting earlier in the year...he helped me. Through it all." 

"You cut before this? Reese...you never thought about telling me that? You...were suicidal?" Francis sighed, "Please tell me you never attempted before the other day?" 

"I've never attempted, I promise. But...look, a lot happened this year, I don't want to get into it, but Malcolm's upset because I promised to tell him if I relapsed. And now...I need him..."

Francis pulled Reese into a hug. "I'm going, to be honest, this isn't ideal. I never expected this, but I don't hate you. It's okay..." 

"Really?" Reese asked. 

"Of course." 

"Thank you...but please, never tell anyone, Francis."

"Reese, that goes without saying. Now, you should go have a sleep and I'll cover for you. I love you, dude. And I'm so glad you're alive." 

Reese smiled. "I am, too..." 


	10. How can you sit there and pretend you didn't completely break me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm forgives Reese, but can't forget how betrayed he felt

Reese sighed, staring at the roof and hoping for _anything_ to happen. 

Malcolm left a week ago, meaning the house has been fairly shitty and undoubtedly a lot more stupid.

"This sucks, why can't you convince Malcolm to come home?" Dewey asks. "I miss him..." 

"Dewey, he isn't here because of _me,_ " Reese remarks. 

"What? Why? I thought you two were like..." 

"Like what?"

For a second, Reese began panicking. Immediately assuming Francis opened his big mouth and blabbered on about the secret Reese revealed.

"Just close, you know? You always have been," Dewey admits, "It's annoying."

Reese sighs, "He got upset I relapsed and left. We've been best friends and...well, yeah, best friends for our entire lives. But that doesn't mean everything is promptly okay."

"Promptly? Why are you suddenly smart?" 

"Shut up..."

Dewey got up from his bed and moved to sit beside Reese.

"I'm joking. But," Dewey closed his eyes. "I don't like being nice, especially since you're an asshole to me, but I'm really glad you're alive. And I can't believe you were _stupid_ enough to try and hurt yourself in such a way." 

"I know...but I was hurting, Dewey. And I really hope you never have to experience anything like it." Reese groans. 

Dewey rolls his eyes drastically. "You act like I don't know what depression is. I grew up the same as you. I mean, at this point I'm two beatings away from an eating disorder."

Despite his history with continuous eating disorders, Reese had to chuckle at the joke. After all, he and Dewey weren't that different. 

"Do you miss Malcolm?" Dewey asked suddenly. "Like...genuinely?"

"Of course I miss him. But I screwed up." Reese admits.

"But...you were hurting. Why is he angry?" 

"Because, earlier this year, we made a promise to talk to each other about everything. Not eating, taking too many meds, cutting...and I failed. I never went to him first." 

"And that sucks, but you never really answered my question. What does this have to do with Malcolm?" 

Reese closed his eyes for a second, before falling backwards on the bed. Keeping his composure rather than losing it. He could feel Dewey staring, so he sighed, and asked, 

"What are you looking for?" 

"Can I...see your cuts?" Dewey asks. Deep down, he knew it was inappropriate, but he needed to see the marks coating his brother's body. To witness the scars he made, which brought him so close to death he almost couldn't wake up. 

Expectedly, Reese shot down the idea. "No way. You're a kid. I don't want to trigger you." 

"I get it if you're uncomfortable, but I want to see your marks. Why won't you show me? I just want closure." 

"How will seeing _my scars_ give you closure? Don't be idiotic. You know that will fuck your brain." 

Before anything else could be said, Francis, Lois and Hal came running into their youngest son's room. 

"What?" Dewey asked. Sensing their concern. 

"We've been calling your names for a while! Malcolm's home." Lois announced, pointedly towards Reese more so than Dewey. 

But little to Reese's dismay, he wasn't too bothered. After all, Dewey made a valid point. He was the one hurting, and Malcolm _ran_ rather than helped?

"Come on, boys," Hal spoke excitedly, urging Dewey and Reese out of the room and back to the kitchen. Where Malcolm sat, beside a table filled with food. 

Malcolm had an awkward smile, almost uncomfortable. 

As did Reese. Except he slowly evolved to irritation. 

"Hey, how are you?" Malcolm asked shyly.

Giving him the cold shoulder, Reese replied, 

"I'm fine." 

The family gathered at the table. Taking a seat wherever available, and making it overly obvious they were trying to get Malcolm and Reese sat together. But being the tightass he is, Reese wouldn't budge. Instead, he sat across from Malcolm, and between Francis and Dewey. 

"Do you feel any better?" Malcolm asked, trying again. 

"Do you?" Reese spat in response. "After fucking leaving?" 

Lois decided to brush off the harsh cuss words. Knowing well enough this wasn't her place to interrupt. 

"I'm sorry, Reese. You scared me. And...I had school-" 

"-I had school too! Doesn't mean I fuck off wherever. I needed someone, and you promise you would be there when I needed you!" Reese yelled. 

Malcolm scoffed. "What, and you didn't break a promise? You told me if you ever relapsed, or slightly considered, I would be there to help you! What if you died? What if you fucking slit your thighs you almost fucking died?" 

Hal's fist was slammed against the table. "Go to your room."

In which Reese and Malcolm did right away. Reese, straight to the bathroom, and Malcolm locking himself in the actual bedroom. 

They were both, separately upset. And for valid reasons, but that didn't stop one another from finding a flaw in the other's anger. 

"You broke up with me!" Reese growled through the door.

"So what?" Malcolm defended. 

"I needed you! But instead, you broke up with me, and left."

"How many times do I need to say it! The person I care about most in this world almost died. How could I see you in such a state? How can you sit there and pretend you didn't completely break me?" Malcolm sighed after that. "I don't want to fight. I don't have the energy...but I _love_ you." 

Reese-seconds away from sobbing-pulled himself to through the door and to the bedroom. Just about tripping over Malcolm who was sat against the doors dividing them.

"I love you a lot," Reese mumbled. He slid down the door, fitting perfectly beside Malcolm, and allowing his head to fall on his brother's shoulder. "But how can we keep doing this? How long are you going to blame me for my feelings?" 

"Until you get help," Malcolm admitted. "Proper help."

"From who? We aren't rich, nobody will help me." 

"A school counsellor. Either that or I'll earn my own money to get you into a therapist. I need you better. Healthier." 

Reese turned his head, as did Malcolm. Their faces were just inches apart. Lips barely grazing together. 

"I've never cared about someone so much..." Malcolm whispered. "I've never loved someone so much." 

Reese's eyes lingered on Malcolm's lips. 

"Someone so pretty..." Malcolm continued. "But so bruised. So beautifully made, yet so insecure."

Reese closed his eyes, moaning quietly at the praises he received. Feeling himself grow harder and harder. 

Malcolm noticed too, his hand slowly cupping Reese's bulge. 

"Do you want me, _big brother_?"

"Yes, oh god..." 

Without a second to think, Malcolm, unzipped Reese's jeans, pulled them down with his boxers, and let his mouth do what it pleaded. 

He went down almost the entire way, barely gagging, instead, savouring the moment. 

Licking, sucking and swallowing around Reese, intaking his own saliva and fucking moaning at it. 

The weight of Reese's cock, hard on Malcolm's tongue felt like living art. How perfect it slipped down his throat, and how incredible Reese sounded and felt pulling Malcolm's hair once he came down his throat. 

"Fastest I've ever come..." Reese puffed out. 

"Most you've ever made, as well," Malcolm remarked.

Licking the excess semen which found it's way on the corners of his mouth, and dribbled down his throat. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aplogies for late update...and this chpater sucks :(  
> sorry it's very short!


	11. Eye fucking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Malcolm and Reese's (sexual) tension grows

Reese and Malcolm's eyes met from across the table. 

Malcolm licked his lips each time Reese looked his way. Making sure his brother _knew_ his taste was still on his tongue.

"It's lovely to have you back, Malcolm," Lois admitted. "Don't you agree, Reese?" 

"Yeah, don't you agree, Reese?" Malcolm mocked. 

Reese bit his lip, "I...yeah..." He couldn't help feel the tiniest bit irritated. His life almost ended, and his own mom was more thrilled by having her son come back home? 

"Is that a bruise?" Francis asked, suddenly interrupting the sentimental moment by pointing to Reese's neck. "Did someone hit you?" 

Faster than anything, Reese's hand covered his neck. Knowing well enough it wasn't a bruise. But the works of his absolute dick of a brother. 

And Malcolm knew as well. He knew what he did, and he knew it was there the entire time.

"No...uh, I tripped." Reese lied, and fuck, he knew that was the shittest lie he could've thought of.

"Onto someone's lips?" Malcolm asked, "That's a hickey!"

"Dude, what's your fucking problem!" Reese screamed. 

Malcolm scoffed, "Fuck you." 

"No, I'm serious. Why are you acting like everything is so hard on _you?_ "

Malcolm stood, his hand slamming against the table. "You tried to fucking kill yourself in the school bathroom! My boyf-uh, best friend! And what now? How am I supposed to trust you again?" 

"I was fucking hurting!" Reese defended, "You were just plain selfish!" 

"Whatever, Reese," Malcolm sighed, "Thanks for dinner mom." He walked back to the room, closing the door behind him, leaving his family in shock. 

Reese was fuming, less than an hour ago he and Malcolm seemed fine. But now? Apparently, they were fucked again...

"I...I think you two need to talk." Hal suggested. 

"No, Hal," Lois spoke, "This is not our place to talk."

Francis nodded, "I agree." 

They ate in silence. Nobody bothering to question what just happened, nor check on Malcolm. 

At least until bedtime occurred. 

Reese and Dewey swapped beds again. Reese having his own bed again. And Malcolm back with his younger brother. 

"Why are you so angry?" Dewey asked right when Malcolm began drifting off. 

"What?" Reese asked.

Dewey sighed drastically. "I'm tired of you being assholes to each other. I can feel your tension from a mile away, is it that hard to make up?" 

"You don't get it, Dewey." Malcolm hissed. 

"Obviously I don't! Would you mind explaining?" 

Reese threw a pillow to his brother, "Shut up!" 

Apparently triggering Malcolm, he shot up from the bed, practically pulled Reese to the bathroom and locked the door behind them. 

"You're a fucking prick." Malcolm spat. 

"Excuse me?" Reese blinked for a few minutes. How had their relationship turned to shit? Honestly, he hadn't the slightest idea. 

"Yelling at Dewey? That's a low blow." 

Reese whispered, "You wish it was a low blow..."

Which earnt a hard punch square in the face. Blood clots shooting out not long after. 

"What the hell, Malcolm!" 

_"I hate you!"_

Reese, about to say something, just closed his mouth. Absolutely blank. They've fought, punched one another, but never said they hated the other. He had no idea what to reply. If he could reply because he felt that wrecked. 

So Reese settled on, "Oh..." 

"I...I'm sorry," Malcolm looked at his brother, sensing the harsh words hard, "I didn't mean it."

"But you said it..." Reese sighed, "Whatever, Malcolm. I said sorry for something that had nothing to do with you in the first place, so I've got nothing left. Don't come running to me next time something goes wrong." He left the bathroom, then the bedroom, and went out the front door elsewhere. 

Reese couldn't stand this house anymore. The limited support, the constant arguing. And now the only person who truly cared for him hated him. 

"Reese, is that you?" A voice called out.

Reese turned around and stared, "The fuck are you doing out the front, Francis?" 

"I could ask you the same thing." Francis got out of his car, pulling his younger brother towards the light, seemingly wanting to evaluate him. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" Reese replied causally. There he goes again, lying about his shitty his life but making out that everything was perfect. "Are you okay?" 

"Reese, you know you can tell me shit, right?" 

"Of course...I know that. And the same goes-" 

"-Are you and Malcolm dating?" Francis asked suddenly.

"What? No! Why would you...fuck, I told you, didn't I?" 

"Well...yeah?" 

Reese chuckled, "Dude, I was high on shit on painkillers that night, I can't even remember what I said." 

Francis nodded, "Oh...pretty much you like him more than a brother. But you seemed weird tonight. Like, you were both a lot angrier than I've ever seen you be." 

"Malcolm's just being a tightass, we're good," Reese reassured. 

"Then where are you going?" 

"I don't know, Francis. Anywhere?" 

Francis scoffed, "Yeah, smart. Leave you alone to do anything, potentially get killed."

Reese shrugged, "Would that be so bad?"

"Just because you don't care for your own life, doesn't mean the people around you agree. I would fucking...be lost without you. You're my brother, and I love you more than half the shitty people I've ever met. Do you still feel like hurting yourself, Reese?"

"Sometimes..." Reese admits, "Don't you?" 

"No. I love life. No matter how many down's there are, life brings you ups as well. Aren't you relieved your life wasn't taken away? Think of the poor children who lost everything by accident. You survived, Reese. Does that mean anything to you?" Francis asks paranoia to spread across his face.

"I guess..." 

Francis had a point, a point that made Reese think differently about almost everything. How he tried throwing his life away, when kids, infants even, lost theirs by accident. If anything, Reese was selfish. He thought about himself and Malcolm had every right to be upset. 

"Thank you," Reese whispered, pulling Francis for a hug before racing back inside and to the room. 

Malcolm's eyes were plastered to the roof until he heard Reese re-enter the room. Their eyes met seconds before their foreheads. 

"I love you," Reese whispered, "And I'm so sorry."

Malcolm sighed of relief, "Fuck...I love you so much." 

Reese leant down lower, connecting their lips. 

Once the kiss ended, Reese slipped beside Malcolm. Suddenly noticing the absence of their younger brother. 

"Where is Dewey?" He asked. 

"Sleeping with mom," Malcolm answered. 

"So...we have the bed to ourselves?" 

Malcolm grinned, "Yeah...but I'd suggest waiting until morning. I'm tired." 

"Me too..." Reese yawned, "You're pretty." 

"Yeah? You're not too bad." 

"Shut your mouth." 

Reese felt Malcolm's arm slip around his waist and blushed. It hadn't been that long, but god, he desperately missed this. Missed Malcolm touching him. 

"Goodnight, Reese," Malcolm whispered, pressing a kiss to Reese's jaw. 

"Night, Mal." Reese replied, "Have a wonderful sleep."


End file.
